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Should I Move Out??

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TanMan, Jul 1, 2018.

  1. TanMan

    Regular Member

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    hi everyone. Just a little bit about me. I’m 24 years old and I’m about to begin my 3rd semester of nursing school (RN). I’m currently not working, but I plan on picking up a shift at my previous job for 1 day a week while attending school and clinical. I had to quit my job originally because nursing school is incrediable hard, and my parents allowed that. That being said, I still live with my parents who in part pay for my schooling. However, my dad and I never get along. One day we are fine, then the next we argue. It’s like a constant state of arguing.

    I do not pay bills, but I seriously need to move out. I just cannot handle it anymore. When I came out almost 2 years ago, they took it hard, but things will never be the same. It’s not that we argue over me being gay, as we argued before I came out, but I feel that me being gay is still part of it. I cannot be myself around them.

    I have money saved up from work (as well as my grandparents inheritance) and that would allow me to live comfortable for 1 full year. I would have about $4000 left over plus the income from the 1 day a week job. However, I’m not entirely sure how leases work. For example, the apartments say $1270/month, so does that mean it would only be $15,240 for the entire year? How does utilities and all that work? I’ve lived at home for 24 years, and I have no clue what I’m doing. I just need to get out of this toxic house.

    I didn’t want to do an apartment because I would’ve liked to put the money in my savings toward a house for after nursing school, but I really feel like I don’t have an option anymore.... I need out.
     
  2. RogerM

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    IMHO, moving out seems the way to go. You can’t live your life not being yourself in your own home no matter who pays the bills. Also, don’t be in a rush to buy a house, they take a lot of time and a lot of money to take care of. After school is finished, take some time to adjust to working full time in your new profession without the added hassle of caring for a house!! Good luck.
     
  3. smurf

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    If you are physically safe and you think you can take it, I would say stay with your parents until you graduate. It will be 100% times harder to finish your degree while you worry about learning how to pay bills and working. You mentioned you guys faught a lot so it matters whether its just fights over "petty" things or if they are emotionally abusing you. If there is no abuse then sadly I think sucking it up and finding ways to cope with your feelings might be better long term.

    This doesn't mean you have to be miserable. For example, try to spend time with friends and at friends house if you can. Get home as late as you can and come up with a routine that will get you out of the house to study etc.

    While you wait to get out, start getting good with your finances. Learn how to keep a budget, track your finances, and make sure you can take care of yourself before you leave the house.

    For example, one thing that you can do is start by practicing paying for rent. Every month take out money from your checking account and put it into your savings account like you were paying rent to yourself. Do that every month. When you get it under control start putting money for food, electricity and other bills.

    For apartments, it depends on the complex. For most apartments that only includes rent and maybe water, but usually you will pay utilities separate from your rent. Also keep in mind that depending on where you live your rent could go up every year so you have to budget to increase your rent every year which can be painful.
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    Had you allowed yourself to reflect, truly open yourself up, and reflect why you and your father argue? There are always two sides to why we argue with our parents. And sometimes we need to put our own pride and ego aside and try and look at the arguments from the other persons point of view.

    Rather than worrying about moving out, how about working on solving your differences with your father? You articulate that you think being gay is only part of it, so try and get your hands around the other parts too. And maybe yo7 May find that being gay is actually a very small part of it.
     
  5. Monraffe

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    This seems too risky. There are a lot of small costs to living alone that will quickly eat up your resources and your parents are far less likely to help you if you aren’t living under their roof. You will be tempted to pick up more hours to make ends meet. That’s just too risky considering how demanding RN school is and that degree is the most important thing you can take with you when you do leave home. You need all of your energy focused on getting it. Is there a way you can just avoid being in the same room with your dad? Can you eat out or in your bedroom, leave the house early, come home late?