I spent a very long time mulling over if I'm truly trans or not. I probably should have talked to someone sooner, but I've always been one to bottle things up until I was pretty damn sure about it. Back then I'm sure I wouldn't have done anything anyways though, I was and still am awfully nervous about what others would think and my friends were judgmental. Now I'm 19 and I don't have medical anymore, I could probably work something out so I can go see a therapist but god I just want to start HRT already and not go through this overly tedious and long process. I have been talking to other trans people and their experiences and my now best friend has encouraged me to go for it but I'm nervous if I can even be given HRT or if I'm being too impatient. I don't have anything else to talk to a therapist about, I'm sure I'm not confusing this with other feelings of doubt. Should I suck it up and wait even if I am sure?
Transitioning is a bit of a huge step, and if you're still unsure I wouldn't recommend starting anything medical. Start with some smaller things like clothes, makeup, and such. Even if you are sure, I would recommend seeing a therapist anyways. I didn't need any sort of special permission to start HRT in Nevada; I just talked to the doctor about the effects, signed a consent form and that was it. But she has been helpful in sharing some resources (like where to go for HRT), and in providing advice in general about non-trans-related issues like depression and anxiety.
Like Solar said: Transitioning is a huge step. If you are uncertain, start with the “Social Transition”. That is present as Male(in your case), until you’re absolutely certain. I understand that you may already be absolutely certain, but you did mention a nervousness over what others would think. My advise on that: Present as Male until that goes away. I would present as female(“Girl Mode”) for shows or for fun in the months leading up to my in earnest transition. It helped get rid of my nervousness over what others would think. Medical: apply for your states Medicaid, it’s easy to do, just go to your states SNAP portal(if you qualify for SNAP, you’ll also qualify for Medicaid) As for HRT, I don’t know where you are located exactly, but most States in the Union are going to require at least a year of “real life experience” before you can be signed off for approval, at least for FtM. I was able to get onto mine within less than a month of beginning mine in earnest.(This surprised my older sister one morning when she came to accompany me to the courthouse one morning(my ex took me to court)). I know it sucks, that you’ve got this roadblock ahead of you, but it’s really not that bad. One year will seem to pass quickly once things begin.
