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Should I Come Out As Soon As I Meet A Potential Group Of Friends?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Frick, May 14, 2019.

  1. Frick

    Regular Member

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    I'm basically a genderqueer lesbian. I am not out to my parents. It's more so I'm sitting in the closet with the door open waiting for them to acknowledge me. My dad thinks the idea of non-binary genders ridiculous, trans women are just men in dresses, and sexuality is a choice, therefor it is okay to say being homosexual is a sin. My mom, who is more supportive, has told me time and time again that the bible says being gay is a sin, and that she "went through the same thing at my age". I tried coming out to my friends, but my main friend group is conservative and I'm afraid of people thinking I'm making things too gay. (I not too long a ago came out as bisexual with my bisexual friend to protect her.) We had an nby in the group once... My friends didn't seem get the concept, but if I explained it to them, especially the group leader, they wouldn't know how to take it. The group leader almost tattled on our friend for being bisexual! I'm the one who told her not to! If I'm the one on trial she might tell on me, then word would get back to my parents, and they'd give me Hell. When I first came out one of the first things Dad said was "drop this or you're going to Hell." I'm getting off track, this isn't about him. I'm meeting a group of homeschool kids soon (can't specify when) and it's a group of 11-14 yr. I think they'll be less likely to tattle on someone's sexuality and would be a good way to test out my new name and pronouns. Although, I might be wrong. Lesbians are rare, people roll their eyes at the "special snowflakes" nbys supposedley are, they might not want to take such a young self-proclaimed lgbtq+ member seriously, and it is said that black queer people are more likely to be discriminated against, as well as genderfluid, a lot of people don't understand this type of stuff and instead of feeling free, I might feel alone. I'm afraid they might tattle to my parents or like me less than I was straight and cis. So my question is; should I come out right away, or get a feel for who the people in the group are first? If I do the second one they might get used to thinking I'm a normal girl who likes normal boys, and be confused when I come out later. Am I overthinking this? Do I even really need help for this?
     
  2. Love4Ever

    Regular Member

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    Personally, I always feel out a group first. It’s sad, but it’s necessary to protect yourself imho. Homeschoolers are a mixed bag in terms of being accepting or not. I was homeschooled and so was my girlfriend and we both are very liberal and were raised to be accepting of others. But my best friend was also homeschooled and her family is very against homosexuality. So I would feel out the group first to be sure.
     
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  3. Jaimequestions

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    I would let the conversation come up normally. If they ask is you are dating anyone you could say I am talking to some one and give them more information as time goes on.