okay so basically my birth name is Sydney, but I’ve referring to myself by the name Rowan since realizing that I was nonbinary. I love the name Sydney, and I don’t mind it on the more feminine days, but I also love Rowan, and it makes me feel like I have a fresh new start. The name Sydney was also a gift to me given by my dad who died of cancer when i was young. My name is about my only memory left of him. In addition, when I was younger, all my usernames used to be ‘sydriffic6’ so in both of those ways, changing my name would erase a part of me. But isn’t that what I should want? A fresh start with a new name? When in the LGBT community, I call myself Rowan, but in real life or with people I’m not out to, I call myself Sydney. It’s kind of starting to confuse me and I’m not sure what name to fully go by.
You could make Sydney like your middle name, or something. That way you don't have to lose it. If, you're changing your name legally that is. If, not Rowan can be your nickname, maybe.
Or you could make Rowan your middle name. Most of my dad's side of the family go by their middle names.
i agree with what is said above. i also want to add that there is nothing you “should” want (re: you saying you should want to change your name). the only reason you should change your name is because you want to do so; there’s no mandatory path to follow. changing your name is also not mandatory for a fresh start (quite a few trans people with gender neutral names do not change their name, because it IS a hassle to change a name after all), nor does a name change guarantee a fresh start, nor does changing a name erase the past! you should do whatever feels best for you individually. since you say you’re not sure yet, i would recommend trying the name rowan for a little bit longer, maybe also to non-lgbt people, as a nickname before you make the decision to make any official changes. if you want to go for anything official at all, of course
Rowan and Sydney would pair well together as a first and middle name (e.g. Rowan Sydney or Syndey Rowan). Choosing a new name or keeping your birth name is a personal decision, and no one can make it for you. The name Sydney is fairly unisex and you could go by Syd for short if you like that. For some people, their birth name is a "dead name" and they try to distance themselves completely from it. For me it was never that way. I think my birth name is beautiful but, because it is so feminine, I couldn't keep it. I regard that name as an important part of my history, but simply put, the name Alec describe me better as who I am today. I am not erasing a part of myself by no longer going by my birth name, but choosing to embrace a new chapter in my life.
I agree with the posters above me. You should want to change your name, you shouldn't be forced to. Changing your name isn't a pre-requisite to "be trans". If you're comfortable with your name and you like it, you shouldn't feel like you're being forced to change it. Like Kodo said, you could even use Rowan or Sydney as a middle name. If you feel like Sydney is too "feminine" for you, you could even change the spelling to Sidney if you feel like it makes it more masculine or neutral.
Sydney is a neutral name. It's not really exclusive to one gender. If you like your name and don't want to change it, don't. Changing your name is not a requirement of being trans or, in your case, nonbinary. And if you like the name Rowan, incorporate that into your name like others have suggested, like a middle name or something. (Personally, I think Sidney Rowan sounds pretty good, but that's just me.)
I agree with the comments above, if you want Rowan to be your name but keep Sdyney you can legally change it to your middle name. Rowan Sdyney sounds good, or you can make Rowan your middle name! Some transgender folks decide not to change their name, either because its gender neutral or they are comfortable with their birthname already.
