I met this guy online through a language learning app. He was learning English and German too (he's currently living in Germany). He seemed like a really nice person, he was kind and eager to help me with learning. We started watching movies on Netflix together (in English and German) pretty much every weekend. Recently he'd been interested in watching erotic movies with me (not porn, just slightly erotic movies that have an actual plot) but I didn't see it as a red flag. Yesterday night after watching an erotic movie together he said he wanted to have a video call. I accepted, and expected a normal call. Instead, he showed up naked, with his penis out. I immediately ended the call and haven't replied to him ever since. The situation was really unpleasant for me, it was a huge overstepping of my boundaries. Do you think I should block him? Or explain the situation to him and remain friends? I'm definitely not going to meet him in real life after this incident, but perhaps we could still be movie buddies: it was nice to watch movies with someone in foreign languages and learn together. It would probably be better to end this but I'm confused.
That must have been quite a shock for you! I had something similar happen to me once and I reacted just like you did. It’s a gross disrespect for someone to do such a thing. It’s speaks volumes about their character. When it happened to me, I completely blocked the person and my advice to you would be to do the same. He has obviously been working his way up to that and maybe hoped you would give him back the same. You are worth far more than that. It’s entirely up to you if you wish to keep him as a movie watching friend but if it was me, I’d never feel comfortable in his company again.
Thank you for the advice and sharing your story. I think you're right that it would be best to end contact with him: if he disrespected me like this once, he's likely to do it again.
Just to add another voice in support, I think @Sunchimes has this right. That's a pretty huge breach of boundaries and a major red flag.
I think you'd be justified in blocking him. From the sound of it, neither of you had talked about having anything outside of friendship, and watching movies on Netflix (even somewhat erotic ones) wasn't the green-light for him to pull that nonsense. If you choose to forgive him, make sure he knows your boundaries clearly. I'm inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are socially awkward, unused to interaction with the sex their attracted to, and potentially misread the situation--even so, misreading the situation is no excuse. He could have spoken with you openly and honestly about how he felt/what he was looking for. If you want, you can give him a chance to explain--but whatever happens, the ball is in your court. If you're uncomfortable with him or fear a recurring incident, blocking and moving on might be the wisest course.
