Soo... I did a lot of growing to realize that I'm pansexual. But, I'm worried. Lately sex hasn't been all that appealing. And I'm turning 16 Monday, at this age sex should be my top priority! But, I dunno, I just haven't really been into thinking about it or associating with it. But hell, I know I'm romantically attracted to whoever will come along. But I've also been liking boys more than girls (I'm a boy). But I'm attracted to both! It's all so very confusing o-o But I'm thinking it's just because I've been with the same girl for almost 7 months. Don't get me wrong, I wanna stay with her. But someone who likes both girls and boys needs some boys sometimes. I just don't know what's going on. People talk about sex or suggest sex and I just kinda go, "...Meh." Maybe I'm just going through a phase. Maybe I've just been with my girlfriend too long. Iiiiii don't know. Little help?
Perhaps you haven't met the right person yet? Just because you can be attracted to 'everyone', doesn't mean you have to be. Sex drive is something that goes up and down so much in life it's not worth giving heed to. When it comes to making decisions about personal, romantic and identity questions, leave sex out of it, it has no place. You're 15, the world has no expectations that you'll have figured out your orientation yet, so neither should you. Definitely no need to be worrying about your sex drive/activity at your age either, it's not even legal! Forget about a label, or trying to figure it out, atleast for now, the answer will come to you just as quickly whether you're trying to find it or not, so stress less and enjoy the journey! It sounds like you need to evaluate your current relationship. I suppose it's arguable, but maintaining a healthy relationship with someone you're not sexually attracted to is a really hard, almost impossible, thing to do. If it feels like there isn't a long term future for your relationship, work towards ending it now, because the sooner you're honest with her the better. Remember, being in a relationship doesn't magically stop you being attracted to all the other people out there, it's how you act on that attraction that matters. "But I'm thinking it's just because I've been with the same girl for almost 7 months. Don't get me wrong, I wanna stay with her. But someone who likes both girls and boys needs some boys sometimes. The curiosity of the sexual possibilities of whichever gender you're NOT dating will be there your whole life, but that doesn't mean you should act on it. I'm sure you really want to experience both boys and girls in every way, so you can reduce that confusion, but don't go using it as an excuse to end a relationship/cheat - Temptation is a strong thing, but if you're in a true relationship, it doesn't matter what sexuality you are, whether it's with a man or woman, other men/women are equally off bounds.
Well there is more to life than just sex. Society paints men as a bunch of horn dogs that want to do nothing but have sex. That is just not true. This is nothing wrong with not wanting to screw everything that moves or turning down sex. We all have different desires for sex and it can change over time. Especially if you have a lot of other stuff going on in your life. Now on to your second question. Well that is a sticky wicket. I see two threads there. 1. You care about her but a becoming bored with the relationship. 2. You have a desire to be with a guy. For the first question talk to her. She may feel the same way. You may be able to do something to spice things up. Such doing something different on Saturday night, etc. The second question is where things get completed. Do you want a relationship with a guy, or do you just want physical intimacy with guy? Does you girlfriend know about your orientation? How does she feel about an open relationship? How do you feel about an open relationship? These are not easy questions to answer. Again I think this is something the two of you need to discuss.
Don't worry about not thinking about sex a lot. I don't wanna sound whatever, but sometimes when it gets on my mind I get very distracted from what I should be doing, like HW. So it can be seen as an advantage in some regards. But here's the other thing: I think you should talk to your girlfriend, and just be straightforward with her. It shouldn't impact your relationship just by talking, cause honesty is a key part of a great relationship. Maybe it won't work out between you two, maybe it will. But always remember that you liked her for some reason, and that you saw something in her that was special. Maybe you two had a special connection. So no matter what happens always remember that, you two can still be really good friends. Basically, don't worry about this. Lots of people are confused by relationships, especially teens, including me D=
