Sexuality confusion please help?

The piece you don't seem to be getting is... it isn't a choice. It isn't something where you get to say "Well, this is what I want." If in fact you are gay (not saying you are, just giving you a hypothetical), then it's how you are hard wired. And I don't think anyone who is gay, when they figured it out, went "Oh, cool! I'm gay! I'm totally about that." Society sends us all sorts of messages that being gay is wrong. We hear that from organized religion, violence that happens against gay people, messages in media, all sorts of other things.

So if, in fact, you have attraction to men that's pulling you in that direction, it will ultimately be to your advantage to deal with it rather than try to push it away and say "I don't want that." Otherwise, you go through life miserable, and you may end up in a marriage where both you and your wife are miserable.

Thus, I would suggest that instead of just saying "I don't want this" you let yourself experience "What would it be like if this is who I am and is unchangeable". Then you can start to work through it, and figure out where you are on the spectrum. Otherwise, if you just keep rejecting the possibility, you'll just keep making yourself miserable.

You might be bi. You might be gay. Whichever it is... that's how you're wired, and no amount of denying or pretending it isn't real is going to change that. What you can do is open the door to simply accepting yourself in whatever way that presents. And when you do, a lot of the anxiety will go away.