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Sexuality blamed on something else

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by quuquuqu, Oct 24, 2019.

  1. quuquuqu

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    I have epilepsy and was discussing a recent seizure with a friend when a light bulb went off in her head. She said "Oh I know, the seizures are the reason you're a homosexual." I haven't spoken to her much since then since she seems pretty convinced that it's the only reason I'm a homosexual. Have you ever had your sexuality blamed on something else?
     
  2. Denial

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    Sorry to hear your friend said that. I've had my sexual orientation blamed on the fact that I was sexually abused as a child. I think it's because people need to find a reason for things that seem different to them. I would have been a lesbian whether I was sexually abused or not. Nobody really knows why anyone is gay but I think it's safe to say it's not from epilepsy or sexual abuse.
     
  3. quuquuqu

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    Sorry you had to deal with any kind of abuse. It's definitely frustrating dealing with somebody that's already made up their mind before any discussion. I didn't believe what she was saying about my sexuality, but it was still a little upsetting having part of me blamed on something I have no control over.
     
  4. I'mStillStanding

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    I too have had my sexuality blamed on the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. Ironically one of the same people who has and does say, “are you sure you’re not just confused because of what they did to you?” Also says, “when you were little... couldn’t have been more than 3... your great grandmother told your Mema (grandmother) you were gay. She said you were different and wouldn’t wanna do what other boys did and would want to do what the girls did and that is just who you are there’s no point in trying to change it.” This evidentially happened nearly a year before the first abuse. I’m not even sure mom would have told me if me Mema hadn’t said part of it when she was passing away and I was very confused at what she was talking about.
     
  5. JaymzR1968

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    I couldn’t agree more! There have been a few instances where people in my life tried to tie my one time being sexually assaulted/raped at age 11 to me being gay. A bunch of fucking garbage of you ask me. That no more “made me gay” than did the color of the sky, or that it’s cold in the winter. I can’t even say I “ended up” or “became” gay - I just didn’t realize and/or understand my sexuality until later in life, but it was always part of who I am and no outside person or influence contributed to that particular piece of who I am as a person.
    You are right - nobody really knows and cannot identify exactly what factors contribute and lead towards an individuals sexuality (be it biological and developed in the womb, or even before that when the DNA is still floating around in our parents, or maybe even evolutionary as a way to live the human race forward, who knows). Point is, we are who we are, that cannot be altered or changed by another’s actions or pig headed belief system. Our behaviors can be influenced by external factors, as those are learned over time, but our sexuality/sexual identity is part of of genetic makeup and not due to epilepsy, precious sexual abuse, the color pink, or the common cold.
    People try to explain and rationalize things they simply do not understand.
     
  6. KnucklesNation

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    That's horrible! Could never fathom why there has to be a logical explanation for everything that occurs in the world, can things just be the way that they are without rhyme or reason?

    One that I've heard before was lack of a father figure in the house hold contributing to being gay :unamused:
     
  7. Ruby Dragon

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    That is a yes from me...

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder nearly a decade ago, and when I came out to my parents, my dad told me a little story of someone he knows. He said that this guy was dead-set on the fact that he's (the guy) homosexual. He married a man and lived a homosexual life until he started treatment for his depression (Think it was also bipolar disorder that he got diagnosed with, hence my dad using him as a reference). Anyway, after he started treatment, all the homosexual thoughts and feelings disappeared. He ended up divorcing his husband and married a woman and had children with her. My dad said that I just have to keep this story in mind each day.

    Well, I've been on medication since January 2010, and I first came out (as lesbian) in 2012, and had my second girlfriend at the time. So even though I've been in treatment for so long, I still have "gay thoughts" and desires. Sure, I realized that I'm bisexual and not gay, and I'm predominantly attracted to the opposite sex, but I have "gay days" where I notice the same sex more, and almost obsess over being with a woman again (This time, sexually too - I'm yet to get intimate with the same sex).

    So with all that said, I've had my sexuality blamed on something else, and it sucks.
     
  8. LaurenSkye

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    No one's called my out personally, but I am on the Autism spectrum and have heard that that causes gender dysphoria. I also know someone who is a trans man (came out as a teen), his parents thought it might be caused by (or a reaction) to the fact that they were getting divorced. He saw a therapist who confirmed his gender dysphoria and said that it was not caused by the divorce. I do know that his mom supports him as transgender, I don't know about his dad.
     
  9. Chizu

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    Plastic, fluoride in the water, chemtrails, demons, I've heard it all. When I told my mom at 19 she told me it was "hormones" and I'd eventually grow out of it. That hasn't happened yet.
    People in my parents' generation sometimes say it's because I'm so insecure.That it must be I fear rejection by women too much. It gets really uncomfortable when it's someone I'm not out to, and they try prying themselves into my life. They have their suspicions I'm gay, and think the can find me "the right woman," or make me get over my fear of women or whatever.
    None of these really make sense for obvious reasons.
     
  10. Nightlight

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    I was told by my mom that I haven't met enough guys in my life so I'm just confused. It's half true...I haven't met a lot of guys in life. How does that explain falling for girls though?
     
  11. musicteach

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    When i lived in Texas as a pre-teen, it was because there were demons in my blood. In Maine it was because I was abused as a child (I was not). In California it was because my mom smoked too much weed when she was pregnant with me.