Sexuality and Being Submissive

No correlation.

 

That's completely untrue. For one thing, heterosexual rape where the man is the victim is not uncommon, and there are plenty of women who are extremely sexually aggressive and dominant. Think about female dominatrix culture.

 

Well, this is one of those places where the "woke" folks have attempted to completely remove or disregard research, study, and evidence from any usable definitions of anything, making it difficult to have any sensible language or understanding on topics that we have understood perfectly well for at least 50 years.

Basically, the ability to experience sexual pleasure is not inherently tied to attraction, and it is not always even tied to arousal. This is what makes it so complicated for foiks that have experienced rape or sexual abuse. They will often orgasm or ejaculate during the coercive, violent act. They may even experience bodily pleasure. But this does not mean they want it, enjoy it.

Now, using that as an illustration, we can look at simple mechanical stimulation. Sometimes, that feels good, and there's no mental or emotional connection to it. But even if we orgasm or ejaculate, it does not necessarily mean that we feel attraction or arousal to whatever is the source of that experience.

While there is research on this, it is one of many areas that have been screwed up by the divergence away from measurable, repeatable studies and data, and so there's controversy. But basically, there's a pretty strong, credible argument that attraction is more in the realm of mental and psychological than something measured by a byproduct or end goal, such as orgasm or other sexual pleasure. Thus, a straight guy could be masturbated or fellated by another straight guy and feel physical pleasure, but no attraction. Since arousal and orgasm are part physical, part emotional, and part psychological, he might be able to orgasm and ejaculate, or he might not... it will depend entirely on how much he separates the emotional and psychological pieces and simply feel the physical. Same with anal stimulation. There's a biological, anatomical aspect to that pleasure that has nothing to do with who one is attracted to.

Now... for someone genuinely attracted to a person of the same sex, then you have all three present.

This whole phenomenon comes into play especially with male performers in gay-for-pay porn (the various porn sites featuring straight guys engaging in gay sex.) While some of those performers are gay guys pretending to be straight, plenty of others are genuinely straight... but if they do 10 or 20 different scenes, they may start to get physically aroused and excited having sex with guys. And this has caused some real psychological conundrums for some of the performers, because they see how their body is reacting, and how they are feeling about the encounters, so they start to wonder whether they are actually gay. Some of them certainly are, and may have been in complete denial when they started, only to realize it as they continued. (Plenty of guys have, intentionally or unintentionally, used gay-for-pay porn as a way to process and accept that they're actually gay). Others are genuinely 100% attracted to opposite sex people, are married, have healthy heterosexual lives and relationships, and yet still find physical pleasure in sex with men. We can argue that they are bi if we are looking solely at behavior and arousal, but if we actually look at what they are attracted to and what they seek out, then they are still completely straight.

Confusing, isn't it?

 

Again, sexual orientation has nothing to do with submissiveness or dominance.

 

Cite your sources. The decades of literature looking at sexual behavior shows otherwise.

Well, there are a whole bunch of other factors here, not the least of which being that rape is a crime of violence, not sex, making my analogy imperfect. But if you are trying to argue that women are not often aggressors in sex, you're arguing in favor of an incredibly sexist, outdated, and inaccurate stereotype.

Again, cite your sources.

 

I don't feel qualified to answer that question, because it is far more complex given than gender is different from anatomical sexual characteristics, and it is not an area I'm deeply familiar with.

What I can say is that there's some correlation between aggressive tendencies and testosterone, but it's far from perfect. There are plenty of aggressive women, and plenty of gentle, non-aggressive men.

But you're out in left field again here, trying to equate sexual orientation with dominance or submission, and, for the fourth or fifth time, there's no correlation.

 

Agreed. Another imperfect analogy, because these relationships are driven by a lot more than simply sexual attraction. There are power and control dynamics that form a large part of that relationship. My point was that the women who do that are often, in real life, very aggressive and domineering people who find their way into work that matches personality.

I don't think it's that simple. There are some men for whom that's true, and plenty of others for whom it is not. Trying to attach the desires and fantasies to sexual orientation, though... I've seen no data anywhere that supports that idea.