I began self harming almost a year ago. When my parents found out, they immediately went into hawk mode and even threatened to send me to a hospital. I have to say, that was the absolute worst day of my life. From then on, I did my best to not self harm and I was put on medication. I was doing pretty good. I would only relapse every 3 weeks or so. When I went to camp, the first two weeks were rough and I attempted to self harm twice. From then on, I was doing really going, I wasn't depressed for the most part or trying to self harm. Then, yesterday, when it was about two months since I had self harmed, I cut myself. I am so disappointed in myself and I don't even know what to do. What I did is all I could think about. I don't know what to do. I think I might do it again tonight. I may also be developing a eating disorder. I've been subjectively binge eating the past few days. Why am I so screwed up?? Someone please help.
You can't go back in time. What happened happened. The important thing is what you do next. It is absolutely possible to recover from self harm. I struggled with it all through my teen years. I've been clean for three years now and even still have urges to relapse. What helps me is keeping a rubber band on hand, and when I feel the urge to cut, I instead snap the rubber band on my wrist. Believe me, it is much better to have a temporary sting from a rubber band than cuts which can leave permanent scars. Or just distract yourself with something, anything else. If you feel the urge coming up, make yourself wait ten minutes and do something else in the meantime. Go on Youtube and watch comedy. Do jumping jacks. Take a hot shower. Hold an ice cube in your hand and focus on the feeling of it melting. Call a friend. Or come here on EC and vent your feelings. You can recover, but it starts with a choice to try. We're here for you.
Thank you for replying. It’s good to hear that people have been able to escape the jaws of self harm. The rubber band trick is a good thought but I’ve tried it and i end Up trying to bruise myself. I’ll try the ice cube trick. Thanks again!
