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Self Harm and depression

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by luckrunningout7, Dec 21, 2014.

  1. luckrunningout7

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    I know there is a thread already made about this not 2 far away from this one but when you hold in so much its nice 2 let go. Of course with this in mind I cant talk to anyone. Im in the closet except my sister who finds everything weird coming from me. I held it in until this year. I was strong 4 three years and I let go. Ive been hurt so much.I was bullied in 5th grade and hated myself since then. My father decided it was time to come back in2 my life but ditched us making me want 2 cry wen he didnt show up 2 meet us the 1st time hes been bac to America and wen I met him a year later he was private and I wanted to be w/ him longer. Then my crush hates me 4 some reason and wont even look at me. Now I spend my days trying to be happy that hes doing well. But its hard wen I dream about him always hating me. Sometimes im numbed and everything feels fake. So I cut or bite myself 2 4get that pain. I feel so much pain everday. How do i forget it w/out self harm?
     
  2. shinji

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    I want to quote something to you. Read it and let me know how you feel about it.

    Now let's think about what you are doing here... You are basically thinking about everything bad that has happened to you, you focus on those memories, you try to relive them and it's causing you pain. Every time you remember what has happened, when you think about it, it makes you sad, it makes you lose sight of what is important here, and that is you. You are the person that you need to think about first. Put your needs before those of others, your own happiness.

    Bullies you can pity, as they are simply nothing more than people who lack the strength to face and deal with their own problems.

    Family you can forgive, because they are the ones that are losing something here, the chance to be with you, to watch you grow up.

    Friends you should talk to, see what their problem is and if the situation is not resolved, just look for someone new as there is no point in caring for someone that doesn't care for you.
     
  3. MusicislifeXD

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    Oh hun, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I wish i could take your pain away. I don't know if you're ever going to forget, but being at peace with what's going on can help. I don't know if you'd want to go to a counseler or find someone you can talk to face to face. I know that helped me. Or maybe writing instead of harming when you feel the pain. If you don't like writing, maybe find a hobby that you enjoy to keep you distracted. Even if its being on your phone, anything but harming yourself. Please be strong though. I don't want you to hurt yourself and nobody else does. I've been through cutting and self harm, and it's not worth anything. Please, please please do not hurt yourself. I'm sorry if my suggestions suck, but you new to try, for all of us and for yourself. You can do it, you are amazing.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    I'm really sorry to read about the difficult time you are having right now with depression. When you have been through so much, and you are still dealing with an awful lot of emotional pain and distress it's very difficult to switch off and forget it all isn't it? Everything builds up inside and there is nothing to distract you from the horrible feelings, except, perhaps the pain of biting or cutting.

    People often turn to self harm/injury because the physical pain temporarily replaces the emotional pain. Is that how it is for you? Try to tell us about it, if you can.

    You said it's nice to let go and I would agree that you did a positive thing by coming here and telling us about everything. If you don't have an outlet the stress will build up inside and increase the likelihood of you cutting or biting, so keep at it... keep talking. When the urge to harm or injure yourself is really intense, try to pause for a few moments and think about letting it out in words instead. Talk to someone about it or maybe log on to EC and share with us what you are thinking, just to release some of the tension. It might help a little.

    Have you tried to cope with things in any other ways, besides cutting and biting? There are alternative coping mechanisms that can/do work, if you are willing to give them a try. If you're stuck for ideas, post again and some of us will be able to share coping hints and tips with you.

    Don't bottle things up. You did great by posting here and there is no shame in admitting that it's too much. When you share it with other people you give yourself the opportunity to let off steam and reduce some of the pressure.
     
  5. Alive

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    hi luckrunningout7.

    I have been there.

    Everything seems to be crashing down on you and you don't think it could get any worse and it does. The want for it all to go away and turning to self harm. I know those feelings all too well and still do. It is extremely hard to be feeling this way and you are not alone in how you feel. What you feel is valid and true but at the moment it is too much for you to handle.

    Self harming can become addicting, like it did for me, and can get more severe and dangerous over time. But luckily there are multiple tactics to curb the trend.

    If the physical pain of hurting yourself helps ease your mental pain, you can try: drawing cuts with red pen (the pressure on the skin is helpful), holding icecubes, taking cold showers, or hitting your hand against a hard surface (but not so hard that you hurt yourself). These also help you feel less numb.

    Distracting yourself is also good: youtube videos, music, hobbies, anything you like and enjoy. It really does help ease the pain. Writing/drawing out your emotions has also been found to be very helpful. Ranting to friends or a therapist gets the emotions out too and might give you relief. Talking with someone while you go through stopping cutting really really helps. They provide great support and help you not go back.

    Getting rid of what you use to cut reduces the temptation. I stopped cutting 9 months ago (when I was 14) and its much easier to stop before you get addicted. I definitely believe you can stop cutting/hurting yourself. Believe that you can do it. Your situation will not last forever even though it sucks right now, but you CAN get through this.

    Good luck! :slight_smile: <3 (&&&)

    message me if you want
     
  6. luckrunningout7

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    Thank you all for commenting. Ive got rid of my blade, and Im trying to think about all the happy memories. Its just when I post stuff like this, it just reminds me of everything, and I become depressed again. so I wont be posting in this thread anymore. Again thanks.