Seeking advice/perspective - Polyamorous relationships?

Hi everyone! I made an account today to make this post, and hopefully to participate in some other forums!

For some background information on myself and my relationship, I am a bisexual cisgender woman, and I recently came out as bisexual to my boyfriend who is a straight cisgender man. We have been together for nearly four years, about three of those four years has been done long-distance, and he is the only person I have ever been in a relationship with and have had sex with. I questioned my sexuality for many years, beginning in middle school and realized I wasn't straight in high school but still did not fully understand my sexuality. In recent years I learned about asexuality, and although I do not identify as asexual, I feel like I could identify somewhere along that spectrum or maybe as being demisexual. I've realized that I do not feel/think about sex in the same way as some other people I have known do, and I don't feel that motivated to have sex. It's just not something I think about that often. Once I started learning about asexuality and demisexuality, I was able to parse my own experiences in a much more clear way, and my sexuality as a non-straight person made so much more sense to me. Again, I want to affirm that I do not identify as being asexual, but learning about asexuality and demisexuality helped me understand the different types of attraction in relation to my own experiences, and this sort of propelled my gay awakening and helped me understand my sexuality as a non-straight person in a way that I never had before. Ultimately, I believe that sexuality is very unique and personal to everyone and I don't fully even feel comfortable applying a label or distinction onto my own. With that being said, I guess I would self-identify as being bisexual or pansexual. After going through a couple of years where I felt very devoid of myself, understanding my sexuality in this way became very important and special to me, and I hold this part of my identity very close to myself.

Although I know that I am not straight, this is a part of myself that has yet to be fully "explored" outside of my current relationship. I want to get to know myself and my sexuality completely. I brought this up to my boyfriend with the intention of ending our relationship, so that I could fully get to know myself as a single woman. Our relationship has had many challenges and we've grown through them. I have also harbored some resentment from the past that I have been recently coming to terms with. Right now this is a very challenging time for us both as we navigate this next step/chapter in our relationship/life, but I do feel very supported by him and I know that he just wants me to be happy, ideally with him and without ending our relationship.
He has suggested that we try having a polyamorous relationship where I have the freedom to date other people and fully get to know myself and my sexuality in this way. I have never considered this before, but I am giving it consideration for him and for our relationship. He doesn't want to lose me, and I don't want to lose him either. From what I have gathered from a few internet searches on being polyamorous, is that being polyamorous is an identity, and that for people who identify as being polyamorous it felt like a light-bulb went off for them when they realized this was an option. I don't feel this way about polyamory, but I do feel like it would allow my boyfriend and I the time to work out the best solution for our relationship that works for us both, while I "get to know myself". From what I have read too, is that communication between partners is the most important part. My boyfriend and myself's communication is not great. We are working on this though, and even having this conversation shows just how much our communication has improved. My only qualm about having a polyamorous relationship is that it feels more like a solution for him, rather than a solution for me, and I do worry that there will be communication problems or jealousy, or that something is going to hold me back from really doing what I need to do/what was intended by this solution. But I am considering this because I love him and I do not want to lose him either. I honestly just feel very uncertain and confused. And with all of this being said, there isn't just one way to have a relationship. Relationships do not have to look the same for every pair/group of partners. Part of me wonders if what is holding me back from just being like "yes let's try this out!" is rooted in the same thing that contributed to me feeling confused about my sexuality growing up, that there's this automatic expectation set up by society that there's one default sexuality to have and one default type of relationship to have.

Anyways, thank you for reading this to the end if you are still here, and any and all advice or perspective on polyamory or how to move forward/navigate all of this would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 

Thank you for your insight!