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Scary thoughts

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by And it exploded, Jan 12, 2018.

  1. And it exploded

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    today during drama class I thought about giving myself top surgery (I'm ftm) I would take two knives and a ton of paper towels and pain killers and basically rip my breasts out. I'm also on my period right now so I thought about sewing my vagina shut (not the pee hole I need that) it's not like I like penetration anyway. Obviously I wouldn't do something so stupid and possibly life threatening irl but it still conserns me a bit. I just wanna be free, I just wanna be me...
     
  2. looking for me

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    go talk to a therapist or counselor
     
  3. looking for me

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    your family doctor at the very least.
     
  4. emerry

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    Hmmm. Is it out of your character to have such toughts? Do you enjoy violence in some way? Or is it because of bad mood?
     
  5. And it exploded

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    But then my parents will know I'm trans :disappointed_relieved:

    Yes but "enjoy" is a strong word. I can't tell if it was because of a bad mood. My dysphoria tends to stay eternally in the background and then comes up at random times so it's impossible to tell
     
  6. looking for me

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    a counselor is supposed to keep confidentiality, my son was a minor and the counselor he was seeing wouldnt and couldnt tell me anything. my son did confide a lot, but still not all. i was ok with that.
     
  7. And it exploded

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    But my mom is in there when we talk to her and if I tell her to not come in she'll be suspicious
     
  8. looking for me

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    can you contact the counselor between appointments and ask them to 'request they speak with you alone' but not let on to your mom?
     
    emerry likes this.