1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Scared of never finding someone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Ameryllis, Jul 10, 2016.

  1. Ameryllis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2015
    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Sacramento
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Was/or is anyone currently terrified at the thought of never finding anyone? I'm always a little scared of ending up alone, single and lonely when I'm older.

    I don't want to be one of those people that lives alone in a house full of 38 cats and a couple of chatty parrots to keep them company.
     
  2. Andrew99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,329
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I feel this way. I sometimes worry that I'll never find Mr. Right. But don't worry I'm sure there is someone out there for the both of us. :slight_smile:
     
  3. kibou97

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2016
    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I feel like everyone probably goes through something similar to this, all you can do is try to be the best you that you can be and hope that you finally come across someone.
     
  4. ThatBorussenGuy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2015
    Messages:
    2,054
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Between the posts
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Nope. I have absolutely no interest in dating, marriage, or really any kind of a relationship. The idea has never appealed to me at all.
     
  5. peterw78165

    peterw78165 Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    ^^ This. I couldn't have said it any better.
     
    #5 peterw78165, Jul 11, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2016
  6. NoXsOrOs

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2016
    Messages:
    284
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Aguadilla, Puerto Rico
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I have a fear of finding too many people XD..
    what am I doing with my life...
     
  7. Ameryllis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2015
    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Sacramento
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's awesome though! Imagine the selection you'd have.
     
  8. bookreader

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2014
    Messages:
    2,748
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Suburbs
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Sometimes but then i can always get a cat
     
  9. DissonantMars

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2016
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bismarck, ND
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm already 26, virgin, have had only one relationship, and it was toxic and traumatic and only lasted a month. I live in the least populated state with the lowest percentage of lesbians, and I rarely ever go out to socialize outside work. I'm basically an invisible lipstick lesbian, and bar scenes make me uncomfortable. Yes, I'm very afraid of dying alone.
     
  10. RainbowGreen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,442
    Likes Received:
    44
    Location:
    Qu├ębec
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would not say that I'm scared perhaps, but I worry about it a bit.

    Being trans, I feel like I will be seen as ''less than'' in the gay community. I also don't want to date just anyone (I have standards, in other words). I haven't dated at all in my life either and I only find a select few attractive :/

    I try to keep an open mind and stay positive, though.
     
  11. aussielefty

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2014
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Australia
    I often wonder this myself, I hope I can find some one but who knows whats around the corner??
     
  12. 108

    108
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2016
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    TN
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't mean to pry, but why subject yourself to these conditions? For many, finding a relationship, love, sex is essential to personal happiness. If your situation has too many roadblocks to finding those things to make yourself happy, why not change them? You can move. You can 'get over' uncomfort from bars. You can force yourself to get out more. It's hard but sometimes you have to put yourself out there to create a change in your life.
     
  13. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I know it's for the best that I don't date somebody else, as I prefer to be alone a lot of the time and don't really like physical contact, but sometimes I am worried about a life completely alone - you know - when your friends get married and/or have kids and go to meet other people who get married and/or have kids. But anyway - I suppose if I keep focused on transitioning and being the best at my job that I can possibly be, then I'll stop being worried. I think the only reason I'm worried so much as it's normative to want someone, and I've internalized that, but between women not wanting to date me and women not wanting me to date men, and the very few non-binary people that I don't even know besides on line, I'd rather not worry myself with something that even if I find someone, I probably won't want to go further with. But yet I still worry about it [I worry about the future in general].
     
    #13 Secrets5, Jul 24, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  14. Blood Elf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2016
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Silvermoon City
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I wouldn't say "scared" but I do believe that I won't. It could be because of low self-esteem or it may actually be true, no idea. Throughout my entire life, I've watched people close to me fall in love while I was always the third wheel. I mean, of 24 years, about four months of it is being in relationships, my 15 year old sister has waaaaayyy (by years) more experience than I do. LOL

    But, I feel like I have accepted how things are now better than I use to, because it doesn't really bother me as much like it use to.
     
    #14 Blood Elf, Jul 24, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  15. MagicPotato

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2014
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    You know there's nothing wrong with being alone. Society just likes to tell us that we have to always find someone to be happy. Saying that without someone else, you're incomplete. But really you don't need to have someone else to be happy. Being single does not automatically mean that you are sad and lonely.
     
  16. Jellyfish Clear

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2016
    Messages:
    179
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Empire of Mahou
    Gender:
    Female
    I don't know. For me the future of being alone is really appealing to me. I know that it would be nice to have someone beside you but really to me it doesn't sound like a necessity.
     
  17. Libra Neko

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2014
    Messages:
    936
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    the world my mind created
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No. The only time I wish I could be in a romantic relationship is when I'm around my extended family because they're all paired up. I like being alone though. I just don't like being judged; they might think I can't find someone. I have had a few lovers but never anything very serious or long-lasting.
     
  18. DissonantMars

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2016
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bismarck, ND
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well... Gay bars don't exist here, period. And there are rarely any LGBT community get-togethers, and when there are, it seems I'm always working that weekend. Even worse is that whenever the Facebook group posts an event I might want to go to, if I click 'Interested' to remind myself and get notifications, it broadcasts it to everybody else's Facebook wall. WITHOUT TELLING ME. I didn't know this until my mom sent me a disappointed message about my choice to walk down a path of sin.

    Plus, I have social anxiety and so tend to avoid situations in which I'm out of my element (being new to the LGBT community, that means everything LGBT) because it gives me anxiety.

    I've been considering moving to Rochester, MN, since working in healthcare there is kind of a bucket list item for me. I know Minneapolis is the place to go for lesbians, but I'm hoping Rochester has a nice community as well. Maybe then I could get out and meet people.

    The only thing is... I LOVE the people at my job here! I'm totally comfortable here and know what I'm doing. I get anxiety attacks when starting in a new job/new hospital, and I'm a real airhead especially when people first get to know me, and it would be a REALLY depressing first few months. Plus, hospital personalities can vary so widely--what if the hospital there isn't welcoming of me? What if they don't become family like my current work basically is? I'm afraid the grass will be less green on the other side, and I'll have abandoned everything that was working for me. My work values me here. All my foibles are forgiven. Then there's the arduous task of moving all my crap, and my house is an explosion of trash.

    So which is the wiser decision? Keep my work environment where people adore me and care about me, while probably staying single forever? Or move somewhere for the greater CHANCE of finding love (or heartbreak and disaster) and also risk work/life being a hellhole? I'm afraid of the unknown...
     
  19. Deinna

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2016
    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have always thought about it. Few years back, I got bullied by both girls and boys, so I thought that nobody liked me. Maybe I still think like that, since almost everyone tends to ignore me, but not as much as then. But who knows, maybe someone actually likes me that way someday :slight_smile:
     
  20. L0ser

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2014
    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    I wouldn't say scared, but with how I am I really don't see myself in a relationship anytime soon. I'd say my chances of never finding someone are pretty high, but I can't predict the future.