Im a sophomore in high school and the only person that knows im gay stabbed me in the back last year (unrelated). my parents also know and are fine. But ive been in the closet throughout high school and i want to get out. My problem is that i come off very straight and am in a very straight group of friends who very often make fun of gay people. But i also dont feel like i fit with the gsa and the other gay kids at my school. I want to come out and be my true self, but im too scared of losing my friends and joining a new friend group doesnt seem very easy. This plus the difficult classes im taking puts a lot of stress on me and i need help.
Hello Sidewalk! Welcome to EC! I'm very glad that you at least have your parents' support at home! That's great! Unfortunately, any time that we Come Out, there is a risk of rejection. If any of your friends actually do have a problem with it, it is really their problem, not yours. Tthey were ultimately never truly your friend and you'll be better off without them. When we Come Out, sometimes we lose friends, but the new friends that we gain are more accepting. However, if your friends know you and are truly your friends, the simple fact that you happen to be gay shouldn't be a problem for them. After all, it doesn't change who you are as a person - the person that they've become friends with - in the least. I would also say that more often than not, our fears of rejection by our friends are overblown in our own minds. In terms of your friend group making fun of gay people, do you think that they do so maliciously or simply because it is something that straight kids often do, but without any real homophobic intent? (I.e. throwing words like 'gay' and 'fag' around in a negative context ignorantly rather than maliciously?) Are there one of two people in your group who you are pretty sure will be supportive? Could you Come Out to them first and then have them at your back as you Come Out to others in the group?
Coming out is always going to be scary, unfortunately, wether you've onown the person a few days or a few years. In your specific situation, I suggest listening to Quantum Reality. He's really good at the whole advice thing.
