So, here goes my story! I've identified as bi for 5+ years (I'm 17, so that's awhile for me) but recently I've realized I'm actually a lesbian. I've considered that I might be before, but I guess now is the time that I'm finally accepting it in myself. I'm not coming out any time soon; when I say I realized it recently I'm talking very recent so I'm nowhere near ready. However, I can't stop thinking about the fact that I will have to one day, and I'm not the type to want to cross that bridge when I come to it. Identifying as bi, for me, was much easier. I know I had a period of fear, but it was always cushioned by the fact that I could end up with a man. I think that even became a source of comfort for my mom and dad who, to my knowledge, are the only people who know I'm bi and that I've dated a girl. But, like any parents, they had expectations for me. I'm not really what they had hoped for. As for the rest of my family, I honestly have no idea how they'd react. My main problem in all of it is that I'm so scared of disappointing any of them. I love them all so much and I wish I could be like them and be closer to them than I am, and the last thing I'd want is such a confession to push us further away (I've never lived close to my extended family, and as a result grew up very differently than them and became a bit of a "black sheep.") I haven't met any of their hopes and expectations for me, and as an only child I can't help but think I was a waste of their one try to make something they could be proud of. I'd hate to make that worse. I don't know if any of you have felt that way, or if there'd be any advice you could give, but anything would be welcome. Thanks for reading.
I think that if your parents were open minded enough to accept you as bi, they will accept you as a lesbian. Give them some credit, and start a conversation.
I admire you youngsters for figuring out your sexuality so young and coming out at 12 is very brave. I think You've done the hard part already. I think a lot of women say they are bi to begin with and then realise they are lesbian. There is nothing wrong with changing your label, you are still very young and sexuality is confusing so you are allowed to not get it 100% right first time. If you go forward only dating girls then they will get the hint that you’re not into guys anyway. No rush to tell them now but it might stop you worrying.
there is no rush. You are in the likely fortunate position of already being out to your parents as bi, so if you date another girl it isn’t going to raise too many questions. You are not worthless and you are not a ‘wasted chance’. You are you, and your parents will love you because of that, not in spite of that. It is natural to be afraid of not meeting expectations. Everyone worries about that, just in different ways. For some people it is sexuality, for others it is grades in school or whether they make the sports team. Parents usually just want what is best for you but sometimes that can come across in a different way. you say you don’t feel ready to come out, so take the time you need. Only you will know when the time is right, and remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, not do you have to come out, it’s your choice.
