I know this probably doesn't fall under this category... I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year, we're long distance and very very happy together but recently they have discovered they could be agender, I am completely fine with this..they've bought a binder online but it is going to take over a month to get here due to international shipping. In the mean time they're making a binder using bandages I understand this could be dangerous and I have told them this but at the moment they can breathe perfectly fine whilst wearing the binder and I can see how happy it is making them, which makes me happy. I love my girlfriend very very much and I want to be as much help as I possible can, everything we've talked about together so far I've been absolutely fine with. If there's anyone that has been or is in the same situation I'm in could you give me any advice what to do or say? I'm scared that they might eventually want a sex change...I don't know how I'd feel about that, everything is so new to me and I'm trying my hardest to remember to call them the chosen nickname we've agreed on, not referring to them as she or her...but sometimes I wish it was nothing and we'd go back to how we were before, I'm scared im going to lose the love of my life :/ thank you x
I can relate. My fiancee is genderfluid but with a heavy leaning towards masculine and she's been showing that more and more lately. She wants to use a binder and clothing that reduces her hip size. Honestly, I have a hard time with it because I prefer women and I really like those things about her. At the same time I can't complain because she fully supports my transition. She is, however, bisexual with heavy leaning towards women so my transition just makes her happy. Honestly, as much as I love her I think I might've left her but we have a son together so I don't feel like I have the option. It's really quite simple, I just prefer women and even though I have -some- pansexual leanings, they are extremely slight and I generally don't get attracted to men at all. If she transitions too much, I don't think any of us would be very happy in the relationship in the end. Your situation sounds similar, but you don't have anything to tie you down. If it makes you unhappy, then it might be better to call it off or come to some sort of compromise. It might sound like an asshole thing to do, but it'd simply make you incompatible and whatever you do, one part of the relationship will always be unhappy and that will probably make the other part unhappy too. The ideal here is some sort of compromise, but for that you need to at least talk to your partner. If you don't, nothing will improve.
thank you so much, we do talk a lot and neither of us want to leave each other at the moment things are new and im still getting my head around them but i agree with you that if one of us or both start feeling unhappy in the relationship something must change
