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Safety or honesty? which one comes first?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hope4love, Dec 27, 2019.

  1. Hope4love

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2018
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    66
    Location:
    Sudan
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm trying to break free from isolating myself from everyone in my country because I can't function or grow like a human being anymore, but I'm wondering what if I made some friends and they started teasing me about my sexuality? I have no idea how to deal with these situations, and should I be honest and tell them the truth or I should lie to remain safe?

    but choosing safety will mean I'm not being true to myself or to others and it will show in my attitude eventually.
    and choosing honesty will risk my safety and i've heard enough stories already especially from african countries.
    if you had a similar situation what would you choose?
     
  2. lonewolf79

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2015
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Cape Town, South Africa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi there,

    I know how you feel... trust me. I have told some people who I thought were friends and they ended up saying very homophobic things to my face.
    I learnt that I had to "suss them out" ... thankfully the ones who do know are totally fine and accepting. Heck they more accepting than I am of myself :slight_smile: It's just about finding your people... you will get a sense if they're OK with it or not. I am also in Africa - South Africa, actually, and there are places I am sure where you could meet like-minded friends with whom you can be 100% yourself. The younger generation are much more accepting and open to this.
    Hang in there... you will meet great people.

    Best wishes for 2020 too.
    Cheers
     
    Hope4love likes this.