Hello, So I’ve been talking to this new women on social media and we’ve been talking for maybe a month. I was talking to her last night and I mentioned that I’m lonely and that I wish I had a girlfriend. She told me, Your not lonely you have people in your life. I said yeah, but not a girlfriend that I can love and cuddle with. She said you have people who love you is that not enough? I told her you’ve been in relationships before, Why can’t I have the same thing?She said that dating isn’t all that and Do you really think a relationship is going to make you happy? I was really hurt when she said all this. I’ve never been in a relationship because I haven’t been ready and someone tells me this. Why does everybody feel that they can just say what ever they want to me. Am I really not meant to have friends? Please share your thoughts. I’m hurt, but I just don’t know if I’m overreacting. Thank You
Based on what you’ve written, it sounds like she was trying to make you feel better, rather than hurt you intentionally. It does sound like you are putting a lot of pressure on any future relationship to bring you happiness. It is important to find happiness within yourself, and perhaps that's what she meant the question about whether a relationship would make you happy. Or, perhaps she was suggesting that a relationship isn’t the only way to find happiness.
Hey I agree with what lostindaydreams said. I don't think she was trying to be mean, but I can understand why it hurt you. I think it's true that finding a partner isn't a fix for unhappiness or for a life in total. I do think however that having a relationship and having people around that love you can be 2 different things, and I'm not saying one is better than the other, really, ideally we need both. Family and friends for plutonic love and support and a partner for affection and support and to share life with. I think what she was trying to say was try not to put too much pressure on a relationship before it's already started otherwise you are almost condemning it to failure before it has started. Are you deserving of love, yes of course and I do believe you will find it.
