So my friend (Boyfriend? im no longer sure if we are still together in that way anymore) and i are in a bit of a mixed relationship. He doesnt know it though since its me whos viewing it to be mixed. The thing is, he's a tad bit restrictive? There was a time where he was kinda acting like he was guilt tripping me into not going to a con that i really wanted to go to just because he couldnt. I doubt he intentionally means for it to sound guilt-trippy but he always does it. Another was regarding joining in a Japanese class i was going to take, he said he couldnt pay for it first and then "your going without me aren't you" in a slimilar guilt-trippy tone. Another case is with TF2, i would like to play solo some times but i'm afraid to tell him that and if i tried to play it during a time when he's online, he's going to say something like "why didnt you invite me" I dont mind whatever he does in his life, leave me out of it or include me in it, as long as he's happy. I guess im just expecting abit of a similar freedom? He does hate being left out of things but Is it selfish of me to want some alone time while he is aware of it? I fear that im possibly telling lies to just get some time by myself without hurting his feelings but i know thats never going to work out in the long run. Should i tell him about this?
You aren't selfish for just doing completely normal things while in a relationship. I think you should tell him how you feel, or else he will never know. And then if he does continue this behavior, you know he's doing it on purpose. Did that make sense? I hope so. Good luck <3
He's making you feel guilty for doing things you enjoy because he can't. This is not good. It's not at all selfish that you want some things to yourself and it's abusive of him not to allow that. Are you allowed time to yourself to do things that you enjoy but he doesn't or does he also react badly to those? It sounds like there are a few things here. You're not sure where your relationship stands which suggests that he's dictating whether or not the two of you are together. He guilts you into not doing things you want to do because he can't do them. And you don't feel comfortable asking for time to yourself (a perfectly natural thing to want). I think you need to talk to him about all of them and, if there isn't anything that can be changed to make you both happy, I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like the best place to be in.
