1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Relationship advice needed. (cheating anxiety)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Clairvoyan, Aug 25, 2020.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Clairvoyan

    Clairvoyan
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2018
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello everyone,
    I’m currently in a healthy loving relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year and things are going pretty amazing. However I do struggle with depression/anxiety which I’ve been pretty used to coping with and figuring out the root of why I feel the way I do. A couple years back when I was with my first girlfriend ever, I got cheated on. I blamed myself to a long time and was so embarrassed I almost never told my friends the true reason we broke up until over a year later. I slowly had built myself back up after dealing with months worth of a very bad depressive episode after that happened. I am in a much better place now but I do struggle with some relationship anxiety due to previously being cheated on. I know it is irrational but when my anxiety acts up it can bring back these feelings for me and I’m afraid to get hurt. I think I’m in need of some new coping mechanisms but any kind of advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
    #1 Clairvoyan, Aug 25, 2020
  2. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi @Clairvoyan,

    I’m sorry that your former girlfriend cheated on you. That must have been very hard. As you know, we can only control our own actions and not the actions of others, so you are in no way to blame for her behaviour.

    Have you considered therapy for your ongoing anxiety? Would that be an option? Therapy might be a good way to work through your anxiety and learn some coping techniques. It would be a real shame if your current relationship suffered due to this. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about your anxiety?

    Take care. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 LostInDaydreams, Aug 26, 2020
  3. Lucy Marie

    Lucy Marie
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2020
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    MHK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Sadly, there are many of us in this boat and we struggle too. Does your love know of this history? She may be the best resource you have. Big caveat here though: do not make her your only resource. I agree with daydreams—therapy might be the next logical step. You will likely have moments of doubt for the rest of your life in this regard, but remember you overcame and being cheated on does not define you.
    ((momhugs))
     
    #3 Lucy Marie, Sep 10, 2020
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)