I thought I'd accepted who I was but lately I've been kind of "grieving" for the things I'll be able to do, like bring home someone special to meet my parents, go to the debs (prom) with them, plan a wedding with my mum, having my sister be my bridesmaid, in general just going through adulthood with my family involved. It's not something that's ever going to happen unfortunately, if I want to live as myself I have to cut myself off from my family, including my little sister which is a heartbreaking concept. It makes me wish that I was straight, it would make everything easier and I could be who my parents want me to be. It's just really disheartening that there are so many parts of my life that I have to hide and I don't want to spend the rest of my life running and hiding. I really don't know what to do. Maybe if I forgot about having a relationship I wouldn't have to lose my sister.