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Really disapointed

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Deaderpool2, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. Deaderpool2

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    This will be a bit long but bare with me.

    Okay so I've just finished having dinner with my family and I asked my Dad to record a program on channel 4 about everything going on in Russia. My mum says "Oh why do you want to watch that? It will only upset you." I explained to her that things out there were serious and I wanted to see if anything was being done. Like maybe a shelter for abused teens who have been kicked out of their home or worse and if there was anything I could do to help, like a petition or charity or something like that.
    She laughed and said do you really think the money would go there? I know what she meant about the Russian government probably stopping any donations from helping but it was just an example.
    I explained that being a gay teenager was hard for me when i was one (been out since 18 am 26 now) and that being one in Russia right now must be so damn scary. She and my dad pointed out that things are still a bit rough in parts of the UK and US and I said that at least NOW we have laws that give us human rights, even if others try to treat us like crap rather than beat us into crap like in Russia.
    I cant remember much of the conversation now I've calmed down a bit whilst typing but it was basically me and my brother saying "how can you expect the world to change if you cant even bring yourself to see how bad things are?" My mother just seemed to be saying that if it upsets her she would rather ignore it than try to make it better because ultimately you cant. This really pissed me off. If it hadn't been for people standing up for those "minorities" that have been prejudiced against throughout history the world would still have slaves, all GLBT would be imprisoned or worse and the good that has come from a diverse mixture of races and cultures coming together would never have happened.
    But what finally ended the argument was when she started talking some shit about how she's always admired how I've never felt I've had to "live up to the stereotypical gay man image that the media and television show." She then gave some examples like having to parade my sexuality down the street or having random hook ups with strangers in loo's which she said quiet alot of gay guys actually still do and that its more often with gay guys than straight couples. :angry::***::angry:
    First off I choose not to flaunt my sexuality down the street because our street has allot of chav's and druggies in the area, not a good place to walk around wearing anything with rainbows or pink on unless your under 10 and a girl. Personally id love to walk around my neighbourhood and think I wont get attacked but unfortunately that's where I live. Secondly and I pointed this out to her, back in her day maybe allot of gay guys did that because it was the only way to do so but in these days because things have changed; couples feel confident to meet up in public and that the number of straight couples having sex in loo's will always outnumber gay guys doing it becaus there are more straight couples than gay.

    Things got too ugly for me to remember but the long and the short of it is I have always had a good relationship with my mother but tonight i have been surprised and disappointed in a big way i never thought i would. do i have a right to be so or am i overreacting?
     
  2. GayDadStr8Marig

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    Of course you have the right to be disappointed in you mom. Just because we are parents, we're not perfect. A lot of parents mistakenly think like your mom seems to, that they are protecting themselves and their family members by blocking out bad things in the world that are not directly impacting them.

    This does a great disservice when parents send their kids out into the world. Many are unprepared for the stark reality that awaits, then the parent is shocked to learn their now-grown child has made less than positive choices like unsafe sex, drugs, or abusive relationships.

    It sounds like you're living at home, so even though you're an adult, you'll need to bear with the ignorance as best you can. Realize that parents have grown up and raised their children in a different era than your adulthood. Times, they are achanging, and much more quickly in some areas of society than others; and in different parts of the world than others, as you noted. Organic change requires organic action. Stay true to your beliefs, but approach you mom with a charitable heart. As long as the difference of opinion is not abusive.