Lately I have been really confused about my gender. I have never really felt like a girl, I have always been a tomboy or just not a girly girl, and I don't feel like a boy either, whitch leads me to think that I am non-binary. Honestly I like they/them pronouns more than others. I just feel like they fit me more than others(that why I have them set as my pronouns here). And I get uncomfortable when people call me a girl. I think about all this so much I am barely able to sleep at night. I don't want to tell anyone about this because I am scared they may think I'm weird, even though I don't think my most friends and family would not judge me. What worries me is that a lot of my friends are very religious and I'm scared they won't like the idea of me being transgender, leaving me with no friends. I'm worried that my family will think I'm to young for this(I'm about 13) and force me to be a girl. I'm really confused and scared and I need help.
What do you mean when you say that you don't feel like a girl? Being "tomboyish" or girly doesn't necessarily correlate to gender identity, people of any gender can be more masculine or feminine. No one else can really know what your gender is besides you, although feeling uncomfortable with being called a girl could point to being trans of some kind. If you think your friends/family wouldn't be understanding or accepting, I would wait on coming out to them, especially as you are still questioning your gender at the moment. Hopefully they will be accepting of you, but just in case, it is important to only come out if you think you would be safe- especially as you are still pretty young, and therefore still dependent on your family. Do you know how they feel about transgender people specifically?
First thing first thanks a lot for the advice and to answer your questions 1) I just never really felt connected to the term "girl" i never felt like I suits who I am, even when I was younger 2) I'm sure most of my friends would think that being transgender is weird they would question me but hopefully they would support me. My family on the other hand I'm almost 100% sure they would support me on the matter. My mom actually went to PRIDE this year (she is in a group of adult senior care business owners that help people with their parents, so they had a booth there and gave out info), so I'm sure she would be accepting, I just don't think she knows much about trans people, but I know that she is not against it. After she got back from PRIDE she told us all about "the transgender people that had such crazy lives." It almost sounded like she admired them. My dad is who im worried about. He always makes comments like "oh they are so gay" without knowing anything about the person. I got really mad at him for saying that recently. Once he referred to a trans person as a crossdresser, witch made me really mad. The only time I ever saw him a little bit respectful to transgender people is when during "Survivor" somebody was forced to come out as transgender. He said "it's a hard and complicated process to go though that." Honestly I felt a twinge of hope when he said that.
From what you've written here, your family sounds alright in terms of LGBT acceptance, which is promising. A lot of people don't really understand what it means to be transgender, so for your dad to call a trans person a crossdresser may just be due to lack of knowledge rather than disrespect. Before I came out, I got mad at my dad once for using a transphobic slur, which he just didn't know was offensive, and he's fine with me being trans now, so hopefully your dad will be similar. Even some people who don't seem accepting at first, can sometimes become more supportive of LGBT issues once someone close to them comes out.
