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Realizing the importance of coming out to me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Caraldo, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. Caraldo

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    Well, as I continue to come out to people (luckily so far little backlash as of yet), I continue to realize more every day that I come a step further to really coming to grips with being gay. Everyday I feel less internal uneasiness. I have known for so long, but I am experiencing real acceptance of my true self, by me. I have really for the first time in my 46 years, to be able to let go of my disappointment that I am not "normal", and accept my homosexuality as a built in facet of my humanity. Coming out to me daily is an ongoing and essential process. Just wanted to share.
     
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  2. lc asl

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    I can imagine, i started coming out a year ago, and still I come out to some people every ones in a while. It feels good, to tell someone woth pride who you are. And I'm only 17... I almost fully broke myself by keeping it for myself for a year, but many years...

    I'm so happy for you that it satisfies you, please keep up this positive stream!
     
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  3. PatrickUK

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    Eventually, you'll reach a point where being gay is your new "normal" and for the most part gay men are very normal. If you went out yesterday and took a walk down a busy street you probably passed loads of us without a second glance. We're very well camouflaged! :smile:
     
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  4. OGS

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    I think a lot of times you can't see what the closet was doing to you until you see it in the rear view mirror. People are still surprised to find out I'm gay but I feel like when I came out I walked different, talked different--everything. If you had asked me before whether holding this in was affecting all that I would have scoffed at the idea--yet there it was.

    As far as the whole "normal" thing the good and the bad of it is that most of us are perfectly normal. Most of the gay guys I know were "fabulous" for a while in their twenties. I was and it was awesome. And then we all got married and bought homes in the suburbs--OK, not the actual suburbs, let's not get crazy, but definitely further from CityCenter. And now we garden, walk the dog, do a little volunteer work and go to brunch. And I think most of us on an occasional rainy Saturday are a little disappointed at how normal we all turned out to be. "Normal" won't be a problem, or at least not the problem you think it will be. Seriously though despite the occasional rainy Saturday I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's--you'll get there, you're already on the way.
     
  5. smurf

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    So true!!

    Glad that you are well into your journey and getting positive responses! Happy for you!

    Fun fact, this has been my live since I was 23... phew I knew people called me an old soul but hot damn lol
     
  6. Caraldo

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    Patrick I should qualify that when I step back I can recognize that normal is a purely constructed subjective ideal. As you said, it will become part of my new normal. I, like many here, grasped an ideal that I could never meet. It is becoming my normal, but in the grand scheme normalcy is all relative, and IMO usually useless in regards to classifying people. I have never judged someone for their natural differences, except myself. I am learning to apply my standard to me, give myself the same respect I give others.
     
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  7. I'm gay

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    Good for you! I came out at 47, two years ago, and I agree that the process of coming out to others helps with self-acceptance. Empty closets indeed!
     
  8. Billy the kid

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    that's great,
    I too came out at 47 to some friends and then I went through a horrible ordeal that outed me to everyone, my family and friends. Most everyone accepted me but it was a tough time in my life. I am happy now that I don't have to hide it anymore. That same old saying that it was like a weight being lifted is so true. It really doesn't change you to much. I'm still the same old person I was maybe with a thicker skin and an attitude of not really caring what people think of me. it's a new sense of freedom.
     
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