I came out yesterday to a long-ago female love interest. I needed to tell her because, at the time, I had a serious crush on her and was devastated when she married someone else. When she wrote back, she had an interesting revelation for me: "I haven't thought of you as gay in a very long time. Would you like to know what I mean? When I first met and got to know you a bit at my parents' meals, I thought that you might be gay. My feelings came from the fact that you didn't seem at all interested in me or D___. D___ & I were used to getting the attention of very different sorts of guys." "If someone was into D___, then usually not into me, and vice versa. Not that I think all guys must like one of the ____ girls!]. Many don't. But neither D___ nor I sensed anything from you. And, you were too beautiful just to be straight." I chose well when I thought I loved her...
We're all more revealing than we think... Great of you to reach out to her and what a positive response back!
Yeah, it's disconcerting to know, so much later, how we were seen by others...but she is special. At the time I couldn't understand why we went out one night accompanied by a gay friend of hers...she even told me he thought I was cute!
Loved the “you were too beautiful just to be straight” quote. Was that at the time your profile photo was taken? Ah missed opportunities, if only I knew then’ s, but back in those days we weren’t really tuned in or out built-in subconscious Gaydar jammer was working overtime. It’s strange looking back with 20/20 vision how many opportunities there were to change tracks. Sale Gay Guy
Hi, I had an odd reaction too... In contacting a closeted gay friend from 23 years past, simply for business networking with my return to home state, figuring I would be the last person he would want to hear from... He had come out of the closet and wanted to re-establish our friendship. It was the closet that ended the friendship. I now look forward to seeing a good friend who is now out too. Stuck
There have been a few people that I came out to, an old girlfriend among them, that said they weren't surprised! I wish they'd have told me then ;-)
Be honest... I suspect we would have vemently denied it at the time and been angry. Denial will do that. Without the time and experience we would all be in denial still.
It is funny, throughout my life I have had people (okay woman) question my sexuality, mainly because I didn't hit on them. I would always say the same thing "Interesting" and leave it at that.
I think this is true, not only because of denial but because this wasn't as acceptable back then as it is now. The LGBT movement has done a LOT to help people start accepting who they are and being brave enough to finally let others know.
