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Reaching Out

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by JustBrandon93, Nov 21, 2022.

  1. JustBrandon93

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    Hello Everyone!

    My name is Brandon and I have been wanting to post here for the past 10 years since I was a teenager. I’m a gay man who is struggling with my sexuality and I admit I still have a hard time overall accepting myself. I’m not great at making friends due to a combination of intense childhood experiences and just having little human contact with anyone in general in my young adult life. I also can accept the fact that I live a now lonely life at home with my family because of my inability to reach out.

    The many years of extreme anxiety and depression have been overwhelming and I used to thrive off of people smiling. Now after all this time I can’t even bring my own self to smile, which of course makes me less approachable. I love a lot and feel a lot, which is a double edged sword. I mean this in a more platonic way. Although I now know that creating my own positive experiences are ideal. I learned first hand what a slippery slope it is to live off of other’s happiness. I realize this world is very dull without having social connections and true friends really are the spark of life. That is why I’m reaching out on an online forum for the first time ever, so please bear with me lol. I need help, love, and support.

    Nice to meet you all!
     
  2. mnguy

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    Hello Brandon and welcome to EC!! :slight_smile:

    Your mention of loving and feeling a lot reminded me of people who are highly sensitive, HSP. It can be hard in this world where guys are often taught not to be sensitive as that is associated with being gay, which they think is wrong and exile people for. I'm sorry you've dealt with so much of that in life so far and I hope it gets better!
     
  3. quebec

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    Brandon.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) :old_big_grin: when that becomes necessary! I thin that you will be able to find some friends here on EC! There are many others who have had similar experiences. We really are happy that you have found us!

    *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: :old_cool:

    *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership.

    *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! :old_rolleyes: If you have any questions at all, you can send me a Private Message.

    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  4. JustBrandon93

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    Hello mnguy and thank you for the greeting!
    I agree with you that I may be a HSP since I’m hyper aware of the world around me. I’m really good at hiding my sensitive nature, which I learned during my school days. I also grew up in a household where both my parents failed to see the value in expressing oneself emotionally. It comes out in abundance for the people I love though :slight_smile:

    Thanks again for the well wishes and have a wonderful day!
     
  5. Jakebusman

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    Hey Brandon welcome to the EC family
     
  6. JustBrandon93

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    Hey Jakebusman thank you for the welcome! :slight_smile:
     
  7. PJ208

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    Great step in just reaching out! Welcome. I hope you can find some of what you are looking for here. :slight_smile:
     
  8. SunnyMoon22

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    Hey Brandon, nice to meet you!
     
  9. JustBrandon93

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    Hey PJ208, Thank you for the greeting and support :slight_smile: This is a big step for me and I’m glad to be here.
     
  10. JustBrandon93

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    Hey SunnyMoon22, nice to meet you as well! :slight_smile:
     
  11. Incoming

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    Your post reminded me of me... decades ago. I had a terrible time leaving the closet, in my early 20s, and even after coming out it was a long struggle to become a functioning adult with a semblance of stability and self-care.

    It does get better - if you devote as much effort as you can to developing your deepest interests and some sense of spirituality (which is not necessarily religion). Personally, I believe that is the foundation, without which no friendships, relationships, or careers can succeed, assuming you wish to pursue them at all. But if you have that foundation, you'll blossom sooner or later.