random thoughts

i had a very scary dream last night. its more like a vision. its what would happen if i killed myself. i don't want to anymore :tears:

 

Today I had a meeting with a Major who's in charge of me. We were talking about my development as a leader thus far (I'm currently in charge of about 130 people) and he mentioned that he never realized how hard it was for females in the military. He said we have to walk a fine line between being butch and being feminine. I laughed so hard, right there in front of him. I think he wondered why I thought that was so funny, but fortunately he didn't ask me to explain myself that would have been bad. What he doesn't know is just how close he was to the truth, at least when it comes to me. (and just to dispell the misconception, most females in the military are not lesbians, the men just think we are) I think what he really meant was we have a tough time deciding when to identify as a soldier vs. being a male or female, but at the same time not forgetting that we are still females.

I just thought the conversation was funny. I was talking to one of my friends about it afterwards and she said "you should have answered him in a 'manly' voice when you next spoke." Oh well, I guess you just had to be there. BTW she doesn't know about me so she obviously didn't appreciate the irony as much as I did

 

spanish class is so frikken easy, algebra is easy to but i just dont do the work....hahah lazy ass <---ME:sleep:

 

I heard the funniest thing today.

Y'all know the song that goes "we stay fly, no lie, you know this, BALLIN'" by Jim Jones?

Well today my homegurl told me the ghetto verion, "we stay broke, no joke, you know this, STRUGGLIN'"

I don't know why I think it's so funny, but I do.

 

I post lots of things on here, i know, cuz i dont liek to talk to kids at my school,
I have a group of friend but feel so isolated cuz i dont talk much

 

Ummm i wish that life was fair and my true love was with me

 

Some Duma:***: S Bitch Is Thretnin My Mom To Take Care Of Me Nd My Sibs.
That Shit Is So Dam Fuc:***: D Up

 

i just put in a 10g in my cartilage! i have a 2g and a 6g in my lobe along with a 14g but the other day i put a 12g plugs in my 14g. the same plug(s) i was wearing in my cartilage. so i'm like this captive i'm wearing really hurts and i don't have anything else. o i'll just put a 10g plug. and i just did the 12g two days ago!
(gauges get bigger the smaller teh number)

i assume most of you have no idea what that means. it means the thickness of my earrings.

 

i dont want to go to japan class anymore. it so f-ing hard. i cant read or write hiragana. not to mention the teacher is going to add katakana to the final exam. and its not optional. everybody in my skool have to attend it

 

im so pissed off

thsi morning as i signed on EC in my computer class, a warning message from the downtown appartment was sent to me to tell me to log off right away cuz i was viewing unaccpetable website

I always chekc my PM in taht class in teh mornign, butim scared to do that again, cuz tehy may kick me out of school, or i 'll get bad record

 

feel like crap

 

wat wrong

 

this girl at my school will randomly take a bottle of mens Axe adn run spraying it down sophomore hallways where are lockers are during a change to the point of choking. i call her the 'Axe murderer'. well today the Axe murderer has struck again. XP

 

lol, nice name-- I have that happen at my school too, except it's limited to inside the boys locker room. I just hate Axe. :dry:

 

uggggg i hate the smell of axe!!!:tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum:

 

im sooo seriously depressed, this ttyl adorable senior who i thought i was sincerely interesed in me broke my heart, while he was talking to me he found someone else on sunday....(well last sunday, at least that what one of our mutual friends tell me) and it ttyl sucks since ive had a crush on this guy since freshman year...*reely deep depressing sigh*god life sucks..it's official im going lesbian...:'(

 

aww, im sorry (*hug*)

well, you know, life is sucked, but you have to get used to it anyway ...., it happens to lots of us, but we have to get over it

I hope you feel better (*hug*)

 

How come when I go out, I either don't get drunk no matter how hard I try while all my friends seem to get drunk, or I get so drunk I make a fool of myself and forget half the horrible stuff I did the night before and wake up feeling awful and not know where I am or how I got there lol

I want to go out and just get nicely drunk, so I feel happy for no apparant reason, but it's so hard to stop drinking half way through the night when people offer to buy you drinks Lol

 

try to balance out the spirits with beer or to have a coke every few drinks