I'm biologically female and have been thinking about my gender identity a lot lately and have started to think that I am trans and looking back I have been this way since I was a lot younger, But I don't know if I'm really trans or just "going through a phase" Please help.
I think that "going through a phase" is mostly an accusation that heteronormative people throw at us. What is it that you are experiencing about your gender identity or expression that makes you doubt that you should live expressing your gender as binary female?
Well, its mainly been me realizing that I don't fit in with other girls, or more simple things like enjoying being referred to using he/him pronouns,or never being happy playing the role of a girl/hating when people ex, but I've ben told "it's just a phase" "are you sure?" "Most kids are like that you will get over it soon" so many times that I'm not even sure what I am anymore or what I want.
Not feeling like you fit in is very normal for a teen and even for many adults so that is not really a major indicator. Even if you are not really into stereotypical behavior does not mean that you have to transition. I know many masculine lesbians who fully identify as female. Really liking being addressed as other than your birth assignment is however a pretty good indicator. A good first step is to try out pronouns and names, there is a thread where you can try that https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/test-your-name-pronouns-here.413728/ . If you have friends who would be accepting you can even try that with them, be careful though if there is any possibility of danger at home. If you are safely able to you could experiment a little with presentation, clothing and hair style and such are all easily reversed if it turns out that it is not a really good fit for you.
I hate the phrase “going through a phase”, my little brother used it with my mom(not me) to describe me after I came out to him. As for pronouns, even before I came to accept myself(and then shortly come out), a friend of mine was already using “she/her” pronouns for me(though one time he used “they/them” because there was a very beautiful young woman involved), it felt great to be addressed as female(even when I wasn’t in “Girl Mode”) That brings me onto my next point; before my Transition, I would have two different “Modes”, “Boy mode” and “Girl mode.” I’d normally be in “Boy Mode” during the work day, because I wasn’t sure how work would react(they reacted very positively when I did come out). But on days off, or when I went out for a show at a local gay bar, I’d “Girl Mode” it. There were also times when I was with my ex-fiancé where “Frankie” would come to visit for the night. She was supportive of it. After we had broken up when she found out about my transition she told me she was proud of me. Want to explore masculinity without having a permanence? Try “Boy Moding” it from time to time.
