Questioning sexuality and being a Christian

Is there XA in the UK? Or does it go by a different name.

Patrick. This week may be the final XA I may attend. I'm transitioning towards the UMC(United Methodist Church) from this point now.

 

I haven't established myself as a formal member yet at the UMC I attended on Sunday, though I did fill out a contact card before worship started. I got a post card in the mail yesterday and emailed a staff member about establishing myself as a new member of the church.

About their views on the LGBT community I didn't ask that church but I have read the UMC's view on LGBT itself.

http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/what-is-the-denominations-position-on-homosexuality
http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/the-social-community

They do support equal rights for LGBT people and welcome LGBT people to their church. Though it varies from each UMC you attend in terms of them having same-sex weddings or LGBT clergy/pastoral staff members.

I mean if I were to compare them to AG, I would say they are to the Left.

All the times I've been in XA, LGBT issues hardly were brought up. Except maybe of a pastor that visted last Spring and mentioned of a college guy he ministered that was gay in college and has same sex encounters and "repented." I went to a fall retreat called "Breakaway" and asked annoymously in a text about masturbation. And the response was that masturbation is a selfish act towards God.

My school's XA appears to have maybe one or two closeted LGBT people. I mean I did have a brief hook up with a guy that's in XA, but before I attended XA I will clarify. I do see that guy from time to time, but I try to avoid seeing him because I have this feeling he may out me. But my counselor said if that guy were to out me, he would be outing himself at the same time.

 

The main concern I have is just figuring out my sexuality and being a Christian. I mean I'll ask you guys @PatrickUK and @quebec since you've been in the faith longer than I've been alive. I mean is it wrong to experiment with my sexuality and be a Christian, I mean having a hook up but it were just be strictly foreplay/outercourse(no inner course). I mean if this is in the wrong area of the forum then I'm sorry.

I mean I've been comfortable talking to guys more than girls. And I haven't had the courage to talk to girls all my life due to just being rejected or not finding "the right girl" to talk to or hook up with.

But hearing what I've heard in XA/AG I feel that I have to always be right with God and that everything else makes you a sinner. I mean this strive for perfection. I mean I understand that we should live in the Spirit(according to Paul from Romans), but then again if I finally label and identify myself as a full member of the LGBT community then I felt that condemnes me under Paul's list in 1st Corrinthians. I feel like I'm in this double whammy right now in my life.

I mean I'm not planning to sleep with 30-40 men or whatever to find out if I'm gay or bi or whatever. I mean do you guys know what I'm trying to say.

 

So my friend Zach from XA texted me last night. Well I got the text this morning. He wanted me to remove a post from my Facebook wall because he deemed it "semi-pornographic." The picture he was referring to was a concert bill from the mid 1970 that had a woman exposing her breasts and the bands mentioned on the bill were Moby Grape(a late 60s psychedelic band from California) and Linda Rondstandt and her band. Zach mentioned that it could've been as lusting over a woman, even if the woman isn't "real." So I removed the picture this morning.

And then he tells me to tone down my opinion pieces I share from news links related to social/religious/political commentary if its contrary to biblical scripture, though I've mentioned to him I identify somewhere on the left and he's fine if it related to sociooeconomic issues or non social issues(like sports or historical etc). I suppose if its something related to LGBT and or something politically charged like about Trump and the bullshit with him or something referncing drugs or sexuality then its somewhat of a no-no.

I'm technically not in XA anymore, I've graduated since May 2018. I just feel like I'm being censored by XA to some degree. I mean Zach is not a XA staff member at my college. He attempted to be a small group leader last fall when he sinned when he attempted to pursue a relationship with a girl in XA and ended up on dating websites that were bascially operated by pick-up artists.

 

My friend cited Jesus’s sermon on the mound of lusting over a woman either looking at her or sleeping with her.

He considered it “semi pornographic.” Then again there is a friend he hangs out with that acts borderline gay towards him in some mannerisms when we all hang out, and he doesnt say anything towards him not to do it. So Im calling bullshit right there.

 

He did agree that the picture in question wasn't pornographic a la Playboy or Hustler. The picture has a handbill of a few bands and one of them was Linda Ronstandt and her band(circa 1975). I mean if this concert bill were "pornographic" why did Linda and her band play at that venue then. Maybe I'm going off tangent.

I also mentioned abou the Abraxas album by Santana if it were deemed "pornographic" if I were to pm a pic of it to him, but he basically didn't want me to. Patrick Google "Abraxas Santana." I described the album cover to him as having angels semi nude and holding a dove and psychedelic imagery. If I were to show the album cover to him, he probably would say that it promoted lesbiansim. There is nothing in the album cover that promoted lesbianism or any themes to lesbian themes. This is the same shit he said when he critiqued women's particpation in UFC. He thought it promoted lesbianism. I'm going to call BS on that because Ronda Rousey, a former UFC champion, and current WWE Woman Superstar, is married to a man. I'm sure there have been lesbian UFC fights(openly lesbian or closeted).

I have mentioned to Zach about LGBT issues in the past. For instance, I've mentioned to him that Jesus never hated LGBT people. None of the Gospels touched on the subject. The first references to homosexuality in the NT are in Paul's letters but Christians on the left have reinterperted Paul's letters as referring to male prostitues or Greco-Roman male sexuality at the time.

Also I graduated from college and technically not a full member of Chi Alpha anymore, so I'm confused why Zach is acting self righteous over my Facebook content.

 

Ill add this. If Jesus returned, he would minister and love everyone of all races and social classes and gender identity and sexuality, political identity.

He preached love and forgivness over evil.

He taught us not to judge people.

 

@quebec. The current problem I have at the moment is trying to reconcile my Christian faith and the questioning of my sexuality. I mean where in the Bible does it say it's wrong to question/and or explore one's sexuality. I mean aside from what people like my friend Zach or any far right conservatives evangelicals would say. I mean is it still a sin for someone to explore their sexuality even if it's between two consenting people of the same sex. I mean if evangelicals to an extent are hateful of LGBTQIA+ people these are the same people that gave Trump a free pass for the "Grab by the p____ " comment he made with Billy Bush and his affairs.

 

@PatrickUK @quebec. Gentlemen, I'm still attending services every Sunday morning since July 22 at a local United Methodist Church in my city. I attend a 830AM service. We had been focusing on Genesis and of the flood and Noah. So from Genesis 6 to 9. The pastor doesn't get too much political whether from the right or left but the UMC does have a social creed. http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/social-principles-social-creed
Which does believe that LGBT+ people should have equal rights compared to non LGBT people. In terms of marriage, it's a bit iffy within the UMC.