So im really not very good at this whole talking about what I feel thing so please bare with me. I'm a 21 male born that way and it doesn't bother me at all. Ive only ever been with one girl sexual or otherwise but within the past year or so I find that im less interested in whether a person is male or female or other. I feel like im more attracted to people who are hmm how to describe, know what they want i guess? (OK ok i guess ill just say that im a huge sub >.> anyway back to the point) I know this might seem a bit odd but id like to know what "label" id fit under just so I don't have to keep questioning myself because this is all very new to me and I just don't feel comfortable talking with my family/friends about this as my family are very old fashioned (my aunt called me poofta the other day for having bobby pins in my hair, if that explains what they are like) and my friends would probably make fun of me (not harmfully but still). Sorry if im rambling im just in a very unsure spot about myself at the moment. Thanks to everyone who reads/replies its nice to know there are people who understand/are willing to help <3
Welcome to EC. Only you can decide on what your actual orientation is. Someone who can be attracted to either men or women is usually called bisexual or possibly pansexual. As far as having to hide your true self from your "friends", if they cannot accept you for who you truly are then they are not really friends. Maybe you could start looking for LGBT+ groups in your area and start making friends with a better caliber of people.
Well... here's a (not-so) novel answer: Why does it matter? You know you're attracted to people, and what I'm hearing is that it's without regard to their gender. And you seem to be attracted to people who are more dominant. Assuming those things make you happy, that's really all you need to know for now. Labels are for clothes. One piece that is sometimes worth exploring for people who describe themselves as 'sub' ... do you have difficulties asking for what you need? Do you feel worthy of having someone who loves and respects and treats you well? Those are important questions because they go to the core of how you see yourself. If you're comfortable talking about that, it helps inform the rest of the conversation.
Thanks a bunch for the help! as far as my friends go im certain they would all accept me its just im just not sure if im ready for them all to know yet
Thanks for your advice, when i took a second to stop worrying and actually thought about it i think you might be exactly right, labels dont really matter (i like the cloths joke haha). thanks for the advice on my preference on the other bit too, when you put it like that it really does make me think. i think i have a slightly clearer view (even if just a little) of what i want and who i am now.
GazesToClouds..... There are some people who do feel the need for a label...I am one of them! I feel that way due to a broken family and an abusive step-father, so that I never felt like I "belonged" anywhere. When I came out and accepted that I am and always have been gay, I also realized that I belonged to the LGBTQIA+ Family, so that "gay" label actually meant a lot to me. So for some of us, a label is important. However, for others it can just cause more confusion and many people are better off without a label. Just as Chip said, why do labels really matter? Unless a label is something that you really, really feel that you need, you are far better off to just be yourself and not deal with a label! You can just be you! .....David
