Hello I am new to these forums, actually new to any sites like this. I am hoping to find answers for what I am going through. I am a 37 biological male, but I am questioning if I actually identify myself as one. What started me questioning myself was when my wife starting telling me things like your more emotional than a woman, and you spend more time looking at yourself in the mirror than a woman does. Also when my wife leaves for a few days I started wearing her clothes. At first I thought because it was just a sexual turn on, but lately I have felt more comfortable and now pretty in them than in men’s clothing. Questions I have been asking myself, am I a trans woman? If I am , who do I need to talk to about this first? My wife will give me no support, and if I should come out to her how do I come out of the closet? because when I do My whole life will be turn upside down because she will want a divorce.
Welcome to EC. It’s a really friendly forum, so don’t worry about that. Have a look around snd I’m sure you’ll find somebody that can relate.
Hi Jwolf, My name is Theodore, you can call me Teddy or Theo if you want but I'm also fine with my full name I hope you can find the answers you're looking for! I don't think I can help much seeing as we've very different life experiences but I know @ChescaC might be able to help. If you want to contact her just click on where I @'ed her and post on her public wall saying that I sent you over to her. If you don't feel comfortable talking to specific person yet and would prefer to post into the void, then it would probably be better if you go to the "Gender Identity and Expression" section under the "Support" section and make a new thread with your thoughts, concerns and questions. As for the support, I can say that our community is pretty good at supporting if you let us. I hope this helped! If it didn't... I'm sorry, but I did try my best?
Hello Jwolf, First of all, welcome. Secondly, coming out to transition is scary. It’s called “Transitioning” for a reason, it’s a transition for everyone in our life. I need to ask, how feminine or masculine are you normally? The only reason that I ask is because I was never really masculine before I transitioned. After I had my own revelation about myself, I sent an email to work. They figured it out before said meeting. They figured out what this “major life change” was. Almost everyone in my life was immediately accepting of me. A good friend of mine from the Comic Con circuit, after I told her(that Thursday after my realization at Goth Night, Vampire Ball) shouted: Well it’s about damned time! Initially my little brother was hesitant about it. He told our mother: I’m not sure what to think. I think he is going through a phase, just looking for attention. My little brother has since come around. After I came out to my grandmother, I got a letter a week later condemning me. I doubt she will ever accept me. The point of this is those who matter in your life will accept you when coming out as trans. You say you’re worried your life will turn upside down if you continue on this path. That’s what this is all about. My upside down came well before my transition, about 8 months prior, when my fiancé left me. She left the ring on a letter, and then waited until I demanded she get her shit out. But those 5 months were hell. Come November 2017, the feelings really started to build. She’d left some stuff until then, damaged the inner tubes on my bike during a visit(not notifying me like I asked) but I went on amazon, put some new inner tubes, and also bought a new bra. Wore it around the house and some times I “Girl Moded” it. Also would wear other bras around the house and while “Girl Moding” it. I did feel good when I did it, even more so than I did when I didn’t. Especially with work, when I would be pure “Boy Mode”. I did that until January 15, 2018(the news about Dolores O’Riordan hadn’t been released until later), when I’d resolved to end things. Obviously, my attempt failed. But I’d semi-Girl mode it at work. I’d wear an unpadded bra underneath my tank under my work shirt. I did this almost daily until I had my revelation. I had actually gone out to karaoke that night, and had “Girl Moded” it. I can’t say if you are trans or not, only you can do that. The first person to tell, whomever you feel the most comfortable telling first. If your wife wants a divorce, just look at it as another roadblock to YOUR HAPPINESS cleared. Yes, that sounds scary now, but once it’s all over it’s going to be joyous. I would have transitioned earlier, but I was scared. I felt I had to live up to these expectations set for me by others. Don’t let these expectations hold you back!
