I've always liked the idea of coming across as male (cosplaying, in shows, in daily life), but some days I enjoy "femininity", and pull on dresses that I otherwise hate to wear. My gender expression seems variable depending on what I think will make me feel strong today. Until now I've felt afraid/uninterested in considering whether or not I really identify as genderfluid, mostly because I feel it's just easier to call myself cisgender. I'd still prefer she/her pronouns... On the exterior, nothing would change. But something irks me about calling myself a "cis woman". It just feels too concrete. Is "Genderfluid" the right term for this, even if I go by female pronouns? And what difference does it make to call yourself genderfluid?
Gender expression doesn't determine gender, so I can't tell you much from what you've written. I also like to be masculine sometimes and feminine other times, but that has nothing to do with me being a trans man. Do you see yourself as female? Are you comfortable being seen as female? Are you comfortable with your sex characteristics? These are more helpful questions in figuring out whether or not you're trans/nonbinary.
I also like to be masculine, at least a bit. I have interests that could be considered masculine. I still like feminine things and wish I could express that side of me more, but I also don't want to abandon masculinity completely. My interests and personality aren't what makes me trans. I see myself as female. I want others to see me as female. I am not comfortable with my sex characteristics, and would prefer those of a female. Those things are what make me trans.
Sorry i wasn't clear in my initial post. I think faster than I talk/type, so I can't always say what I mean. So I sometimes see myself as male, and want others to see me as such. But other times I don't--I find myself wishing I didn't have to be seen as one gender or see myself as one gender. I know that personality doesn't determine gender, believe me. I can't describe what I'm going through very well...sometimes I straight up want to be a boy, and want to be called male pronouns, but not all the time. Hope that makes more sense?
You sound pretty genderfluid to me. :icon_wink I was also convinced for a time that I would always be going by female pronouns, that it'd be easier if I just kept this to myself, that Wishing I was a guy only like 10% of the time was just me being a curious cis girl, that the irking feeling I got when being called a woman was something every girl felt. Turns out, I was wrong.:lol: And I didn't begin to find out how wrong until I started identifying as genderfluid and allowing myself to be free from everything I hated about being stuck before. It wasn't until I really started listening to my inner self and understanding what I heard to be meaningful that I realized I was never only a girl. There were always a lot of sides to me. Try identifying that way for a while. Honor any feelings you get. Consider them just as valuable and meaningful as the ones you get that conform to your birth gender. If you also feel more free and happy when you try that, you may also be genderfluid.
