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Question to the gay community: would you get involved with a transperson?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by WhiteRaven, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. WhiteRaven

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    Allright so, I'm an FTM. I am quite okay with the fact I have a vajayjay down there, which I just refer to as my bonus hole most of the time, but I utterly HATE it that I don't have a dick. It makes me feel incomplete, "not man enough", and a freak of nature.

    I have always mainly gone after girls. For one cause people always seem to assume you're straight until proven otherwise, and if you say you're bi, people still talk about you from the straight perspective. But it just never really worked out. I liked them, but there was no passion, and lately I'm discovering I might actually be MORE towards gay than I thought... but that actually makes me even more insecure. I like dicks. Gay guys like dicks. And I don't have one.
    I feel like I have OTHER qualities which can rock a girls world that make up for my absence of a cock, but as far as gay guys go.... I have nothing. I feel like I stand no chance.
    I've had a couple encounters already where a guy was interested in me, and I in him, but as soon as I told him I'm trans they all backed off and dropped me so quickly. Each time I lose a bit of hope and energy... and I just want to know if it's justified. Any experiences? Any thoughts? Any advice?

    Thanks!
     
    #1 WhiteRaven, Jul 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2016
  2. Benway

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    I'd hook up with a transgirl so long as she hadn't had bottom surgery. I just like penises too much and vaginas too little to get with a transguy. No offense to anybody here.
     
  3. Jax12

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    Well to answer your question, if I was still single, I believe I would date a trans male, yes. I've found numerous trans males attractive, and although I haven't dated one before, I would like to think that I'm quite open minded, and if there's no penis involved, I'm sure we could find some way around it.
     
  4. WhiteRaven

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    Benway, none taken. I actually get it. Idk even if I'd do my current self if I had been cis. It makes me a bit hopeless though.
    I mean... I'm somewhat of an incomplete guy. Some days I just think I should just find a bi guy (which are kind of rare...) or another transguy.
     
  5. smurf

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    Hell yes!

    I'm attracted to guys, and while I enjoy penises, I really enjoy the person more than which genitalia they have. Sex is fun. The only thing that would be hard for me personally would be dating a trans guy that doesn't enjoy playing with his genitals. Because I get its a valid emotion, but I do like playing with genitalia so that could be a deal breaker.

    Also, I have a couple of friends that say that seeing their clit as a small penis is more helpful to them that seeing themselves as missing a penis. Yes, some gay guys will not date or hook up with you because of your size, but you just have to find someone who doesn't care how small your penis is! I'm also cis, so I'm just relying what my friends tell me. Not sure if its actually helpful.
     
  6. Glowing Eyes

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    I'd probably only get into a relationship with another transgirl 'cause my dysphoria would ruin my relationship with cis girls and I'm not that attracted to guys.
     
    #6 Glowing Eyes, Jul 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2016
  7. WhiteRaven

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    Actually I'm more interested in views from cispeople atm, so thanks Smurf :slight_smile: (and for giving me some hope haha)
    I do see my "clit" as a small penis. I mean, it basically IS my penis and I even get erections in it like cisguys do and all, but still... it's awfully small.
    And for me someone not wanting to play with either mine or their genitalia would be kind of a dealbreaker too. Like, I might not like that I don't have a proper penis, but I still like sex and being touched down there, simply cause it feels good.
     
  8. Creativemind

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    Honestly, probably not. I might consider a relationship with a trans woman who has had bottom surgery, but I wouldn't with one who had their original plumbing. I would not date trans men pre or post op because I'm not interested in men.

    I love women and vaginas, so my partner has to be both of those things. This does not exclude all trans people, since some trans women have vaginas, but that is my boundary.
     
  9. Kira

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    As long as I liked them as a person and they weren't forced on me (By that I mean, in a relationship by my own will) then certainly. I met a girl a while back who's pretty much perfect in every aspect and if I actually had the courage we probably would have went out. :lol:
     
  10. BMC77

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    Coming from someone who has no experience with dating or sex...

    I have to think that at this point, I'd want a penis on my hypothetical sex partner. But I won't rule out the possibility of dating someone who is FTM, particularly if that someone is truly long term relationship material. And--assuming that I had a sexual relationship or two before meeting that person--my desire for a penis might drop. A case of "working" the desire out of my system.
     
  11. Nordland

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    Sure absolutely, as long as I got on with that person
     
  12. A Mindful Wolf

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    Right now no, cos I still have a bit to learn and am not emotionally stable enough to balance myself, let alone someone else, but in the future I don't see why not.
     
  13. rado84

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    I would but only with MTF. No offense but imo males make hot feminine girls while vice versa - not.
     
  14. 108

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    To be honest, I seem to be completely into transmen but it's not totally a sexual thing.
     
  15. L0ser

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    Yeah, it wouldn't turn me off or anything. I'd just see it as another aspect of someone I like, and wouldn't make a big deal about it. I understand that some people don't want to be involved with a trans person because of their sexuality, which they can't help, but being bisexual the worry over genitals doesn't bother me.
     
  16. Alexrocks1253

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    I'd love to! I've always thought trans people were hot!!!:thumbsup:
     
  17. Shorthaul

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    As a bi male, if I were single; I would probably date a trans person. Equipment is secondary to personality and who they are. If it were serious enough for the relationship to go that far, that sex was involved, I might be surprised, but I certainly wouldn't dump someone based on that fact alone.
     
  18. Curious39

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    Being a transgirl, especially in early days. Just starting my journey, I would definitely date a transguy if we got on and I liked their personality. I think it would be a great relationship as we'd understand the troubles we are both going through.
     
  19. WhiteRaven

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    Okay, another question (BONUS ROUUUND! ;P), what moment would you consider the best to have someone disclose this to you?
    I am worried myself that if I tell too soon (ie. before someone gets to know me) they might dismiss me based purely on what I was born as, without bothering to get to know me, but if I tell 'too late' they might feel betrayed and/or lied to. I don't want someone to feel shocked cause the package inside the wrapping wasn't what they thought it would be, but on the same end I don't want to be seen as just my sex/gender, which are totally unrelated to who I truly AM as a person.
     
  20. Creativemind

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    I think that will depend on the situation. I'd prefer to be told sooner rather than later, but I understand not doing so on the first date. I think It's a tough line to cross. You don't want people to be fetishizing you for knowing too soon, but if It's a dealbreaker for someone, you also don't want to have dragged it on for too long.

    Think of like like wanting kids vs being childfree. Not many people talk about it immediately, but it is an important relationship factor.