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Question for gender non-comforming people...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Nightdream, Aug 19, 2017.

  1. Nightdream

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    I'm not sure if this is the right place to post it since it's mostly related to gender identity issues. I just know that I noticed that I happen to not feel very comfortable with my gender role a while ago and I know that I am cisgender, but I still have a few issues and doubts about a few topics.

    I have been wishing for more masculine clothing probably since I was a kid when I saw a tomboy in some movie. I really thought I could dress like that once I got older, but I had no permission to do that and I bet my family still wouldn't let me do it even with the fact that I happen to be an adult already.

    So, I wanted to know a few things...

    1) Is there a very high risk of being raped or physically attacked because of the way you dress? It sounds like a very dumb question, but I feel the need to know what kind of mess I could get through if I ended up by starting to "crossdress" around there. I'm pretty sure I won't pass as a male.

    2) Do a masculine dressed individual needs to be "tough"? I'm the complete opposite of that. I'm very feminine in my manneirisms and it could look like my clothes don't fit in my personality at all. Is that okay?

    3) Is it bad that the only reason I feel like I want to dress in a more atypical way is because I just love the masculine style and actually believe it would look good on me? Most people I know/heard of do it to show their gender identity or personality type, but hell, I just suck at acting masculine. I don't even try doing so.

    Well, sorry if this thread offended anyone. I just want to know what I am planning on putting myself through. I'm sure I will do it, even if it is just in private for me to regret it later. I decided that I'd better regret trying than not trying.
     
  2. Mihael

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    1. I don't think so. Strangers are less likely to flirt with you, in fact, because... you look kind of like a guy so unattractive in their opinion. Men's clothes tend to be baggier as well, and cover up more so another minus to sexiness. Looking with the corner of the eye, people are likely to think you're a man.

    Or rather, it depends where you live.

    2. Do what feels most natural to you, be yourself. Being tough is considered masculine, but if you identify as a masculine woman, rather think what it means for you, what are the traits you identify with. Don't force yourself into spmething you're not. It's all about being yourself and finding comfort with you gender / expression.

    3. No, it's actually a bery good reason, and a reason a lot of people who dress this way have.

    Do it! :slight_smile:
     
  3. summersun

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    Hi Nightdream!
    I'd recommend to give a f**** on gender-norms, gender-roles etc. So, dress as you like to! I also think, that the cool styles, clothes, haircuts are made for men. I also prefer that style without ever feeling male or wanting to be male. You should not be scared. I think it's much more challenging for guys to wear a skirt than for girls to wear guys-clothes. In many parts of the world women wear jeans, sneakers, tshirts, caps etc.

    You'll see if your clothes fit your personality when you look in the mirror. It's all about style matching your taste.

    I sometimes get harassed because people assume I'm lesbian. You wrote you look female, so people might just think, that you're a lady with a cool style. But no...hang on... who cares what people think..? Dress the way you enjoy it and then walk out, it will be good and it will feel good!

    To 3.: no, of course there's nothing bad about it. It's just clothes, looks, it's about your taste - not a gender- or sexuality-statement.

    Wear whatever you like, I'm sure you'll be looking very good and don't care too much about other peoples thoughts.
     
  4. Aberrance

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    1) Absolutely not. People don't rape others depending on what they're wearing. They do it because they're disgusting human beings. Doubt it would matter if you're wearing a dress or a suit. We're actually lucky, being AFAB, we get a lot less abuse crossdressing and experimenting with gender expression than those AMAB. Just take it easy. Throw in a few shirts, a couple jeans from the men's section and just bring more items in a little at a time. It'll be less of a big change and easier for others to get used to it.

    2) People wear whatever they want. You don't have to coordinate clothes to personality. You don't see all the very feminine gay guys in dresses and skirts just because they're camp, do you? If you're comfortable in masculine clothing then you wear it. More masculine clothing can look extremely attractive on some girls, just depends on the person. But no matter, it's whatever you want your style to be and whether you'll be comfortable in it. That's the important thing.

    3) Nope. That doesn't sound bad at all. In fact I thought that was the main reason people started wearing the clothing they wanted. Even before coming out as trans I wore guys clothing just because I thought it looked better on me and I was more comfortable in it.

    It sounds like you're a lot more focused on what others think and whether they'll be happy/care about the clothes that you wear. We can't always do things with others as our main focus. You have to think about yourself and what's best for you.