Question for all the older boys and girls out there?

I was more mature at 18 than 58!

I think sometimes there is a tendency to wish for the carefree years. Yet, for many of us, that was a fantasy regardless of our sexuality.

What's important, for me at least, is that I can still tap that feeling of excitement and newness in many aspects of my life including my same sex experiences.

 

Funny...in some ways I'm the same way. One of my high school teachers was probably right when he hold me something along the lines that I was 15 going on 46!

Although in some ways...I'm probably more mature now then I was then.

 

Yes...I'm still not fully out but I'm finally working on living as my true self. It's sad that we have to hide because of the shame that society throws at us. Where I live, they've now added sexuality & gender identity for sex ed. and I was almost in tears! I wish I had this topic when I was attending elementary and high school! I wouldn't have to hide who I really am and feel bad about it as well...

 

Re quoting: "compounding the problems even more. I state: Bingo. You go to the front of the class Destin.

So whats the alternative? Four things - not in any given order. (this was told to my by a psychologist.)
a) Drink adequate amounts of water. The brain loves to be hydrated.
b) Exercise. No less than 3 times a week, no more than 5. 30 minutes or more in those days. What does this do. The brain loves blood and exercise pumps lots of blood to the brain.
c) East right. No junk food.
d) Get a good night rest. Sleep 8 hours a day.

Not mentioned by the psychologist who suggested a - d, but will add. I practice meditation - Buddhism.. Loving Kindness. I tell myself I love myself. .

 

One thing I've thought of off and on the last couple of days is how much stronger my libido was when I was young. It might have been interesting being in a sexual relationship at that time, when I might easily have run out of ideas in the sex manual before my libido quit for the evening...

 

It's interesting at first but quickly becomes annoying. I too can currently go for quite a long time, but I wish it weren't like that. It leads to a lot of dissatisfaction when the other person only wants to go once and you want to go like 4 times. Also things get boring really fast since you burn through all of your available options way faster than most people do. However, the rare times when you find someone else with an equally strong ability to do that...yeah it can be pretty fun to basically go until you both physically pass out.

 

I suppose so. And I certainly recall how tiresome it was at times having a strong libido, especially during the period I struggled to accept masturbation as "normal."

Don't worry. It won't be like that forever. You'll someday be like me: a falling apart wreck of 48 who needs a crane in order to get it up. LOL

 

True. And that's mostly OK with me. But it would have been fun experiencing sex with a higher libido.

For that matter...it might have been fun if I could have accepted masturbation enough so that I could have enjoyed it without any negative feelings when I had a higher libido

LOL

 

I know. I've heard the Viagra jokes...

And I remember some gadget that was advertised in some magazine my grandmother that promised to transform the sex life of couples battling ED.

Although I like to amuse myself by thinking of the man being really happy, and the woman moaning: "I thought we were done with this foolishness!"

 

Sorry to hear that! Diabetes can be a terrible disease.

 

I just want to say thank you to all the people in here who reply so regularly. It certainly makes me feel like there is a community supporting me.

I have been struggling with a range of thoughts and it is so nice to be able to share and be acknowledged.

I think part of my problem is that I only realised I am truly gay because I met someone that I love. This is great of course, but it's a bit of a catch-22. He's older and has been out for ages so as you can imagine, he's done it all. I'm envious of his experiences and want the same experiences but know it would mean giving up love. I know it's an enviable dilemma considering some of the posts I am seeing on here, but it's all relative and turmoil is turmoil regardless.

Good that sounds silly... Wish I could stop feeling this way

 

I waited for decades to come out as trans. A fellow high-schooler came out about the same time and we posited that it was better to have waited because of the technology and the acceptance factor. Still, it's hard to think that I would NEVER EVER be misgendered if I had transitioned years ago. But what if the doctor I'd had was not as good. So, now that I'm 40, I still look 29. No one ever guesses my age. I still get to shop at the shops the young girls go to. I recently graduated uni. It took 18 years to finish university. I had an underground dance music radio show for years at school, I got to do all the college-life things I always wanted: presenting research on dance music culture at other universities, speaking to big classes, making friends on campus (when you're a trans girl DJ, you're hard to miss)...

So, although it is very easy for me to slip into "what if" mode, I'm blessed to be able to have that second adolescence. I never get older, I just level up. Now I'm really a girl to the rest of the world, AND I'm a lesbian. I got tired of being scared. It made me anxious, sweaty, and worse. Really worse. Even the last few years, I waited too long. I got on the bus just as it was leaving the station forever and the ride is so good now. Finally.

 

I will say that I did most of my lamentation before I started hormone replacement therapy. The whole, "I could have been a girl back when..." or "I should have done this when..." but it's over now. I have suffered enough.

 

I do look back and wonder what if often. What would it have been like to be the real me? But I also think of my daughter and grandchildren who might have never been. But as others have said, you've got to move forward. I acknowledge that it isn't easy sometimes.