It's been so long since I've been on EC. I loved this community back in the days of being a confused teenager, just figuring myself out. Not much has really changed in the years since I last checked-in here. I've got my degree, I'm training to be a teacher, I've had my first proper (albeit temporary) job - but I'm still single. I've never been in a relationship with anyone, and the two people who I actually felt like I might be in love with have been almost completely forgotten. I've known for years that I'm bisexual (at least as far as porn is concerned), and I do still find men and women attractive, but I honestly don't know if I even want to be in a relationship. I feel like I should because I'm a 23 year-old virgin - but is that me wanting to share my life with someone, or just society's expectations making me feel pressured into something I don't really care about. Even the thought of actually having sex gives me mixed feelings. Part of me is anxious about asking someone out (something I've only done once, to poor results). Part of me is uncomfortable actually being naked in front of anyone (I'm not in great shape). I find it slightly difficult to even imagine being in a relationship and having sex - like it's not an automatic thing. I don't think about this kind of stuff very often, which is probably why I'm still single - everyone I meet gets treated as a friend rather than a potential partner, and I don't really think of people in that way until a while after getting to know them. Maybe I'm demisexual or some sort of grey-bi. I don't know anymore. Thank you to anyone who reads this - I just wanted to try to get it out of my mind.
