1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

PSA for all the girls

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. idsm

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2014
    Messages:
    528
    Likes Received:
    120
    Location:
    .
    I don't mean to be the party pooper, but I find mildly concerning the way we approve of illegal and potentially harmful activity in this thread.
     
  2. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    9,741
    Likes Received:
    1,364
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Do you know that this woman has been out her whole adult Life?
     
  3. YeahpIdk

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,634
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    East Coast
    Gender:
    Female
    Time for an Uber.
     
    Orchidea123 and BrookeVL like this.
  4. Moonsparkle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    465
    Likes Received:
    563
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I imagine I will have to go the online route too...And I'll be right there with you Rana, kicking and screaming...
     
    Rana likes this.
  5. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    9,741
    Likes Received:
    1,364
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I am with this haha
     
    Orchidea123 likes this.
  6. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    9,741
    Likes Received:
    1,364
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Keep your eyes on the prize....

    Sometimes you have to wade through shit to get the gold haha. I'm not sure anyone would chose online dating if they were offered the option of meeting someone naturally but life is a bitch and good often has bad attached to it.
    It's like I don't know maybe having a baby, given the chance I'm sure most people would cut out maybe the pregnancy but certainly the labour and birth if they were given the choice but unfortunately it's the bad that comes with the good and once you have the child you forget how bad that temporary bit was, as proved by all the people who have multiple children.
    Or maybe like going on holiday, travelling in general often sucks, long haul flights are enjoyed by very few but we put up with them to get the treasure that we want at the end.
     
  7. RJay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2017
    Messages:
    920
    Likes Received:
    1,319
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No. I don't know that, actually.
     
  8. zumbaqueen

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2017
    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    272
    Location:
    New York
    Why don't you just tell her that your newly out before you meet her. Then she knows and it takes the pressure off.
     
    RJay and NeonSocks like this.
  9. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    9,741
    Likes Received:
    1,364
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is a great idea, then if it means she isn't interested you never have to meet her and if she doesn't care you don't need to fret about it anymore. You can always word it in a way that means she is in no doubt you know you are gay.
     
    RJay, NeonSocks and Soundofmusic like this.
  10. Woodswoman

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2017
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Western NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Rjay, go on the date!! Even if this woman has been out a long time, I can't imagine that she would find your newly discovered lesbionic prowess anything but endearing! In fact, casually dating someone with a little experience should help you avoid the potentially awkward situation where neither person is sure of how to initiate physical contact. I don't necessarily mean sex, hopefully you wait for genuine feelings to develop before that. But I can imagine just that initial leap of holding a woman's hand or kissing a woman may be overwhelming. It may help to have someone with a little more experience take the lead...
    Whether or not you continue to date this person, you will no doubt learn more about yourself and what you want out of a potential partner.
     
    dreamingfreely, Orchidea123 and RJay like this.
  11. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    522
    Likes Received:
    416
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I went on a date like this once and it was my first with a woman. it didn't lead to anything, but it was a cool experience because she was super receptive to listening and actually gave great advice. I don't think you have anything to lose. You're obviously very personable! Regardless of what it leads to, I'm sure you'll both have a good time.
     
    Orchidea123, NeonSocks and RJay like this.
  12. RJay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2017
    Messages:
    920
    Likes Received:
    1,319
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    LOL
     
    Rana, Woodswoman and silverhalo like this.
  13. BrookeVL

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2016
    Messages:
    3,769
    Likes Received:
    142
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    There is nothing wrong with online dating. Sure we'd all like to just meet someone organically, but it seems that's not quite how the world works anymore. It's the digital age, and there's no shame in embracing that.

    As for the date, I understand your reservations. I imagine I'll go through the same too when I finally start pursuing girls, for the first time AS A GIRL myself. Call me crazy, and maybe I'm wrong, but isn't being newly out a pretty common thing these days? It seems to me like there's so many bi/lesbian women these days, that being newly out wouldn't necessarily have the stigma it used to carry... just tell her. If she has a problem with it, it wasn't meant to be anyway. These aren't the droids you are looking for. Move along.:slight_smile:
     
    junebug99, RJay and Soundofmusic like this.
  14. Cinnamon Bunny

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2016
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    41
    Location:
    South USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    They say starting is the hardest part. I've also read that we tend to avoid conflict and change to protect ourselves. Problem is we miss opportunities to start something or to grow. If there is a nice girl who wants one casual date, I recommend going on one date because each time it will get easier. Then when the right woman comes along you won't be paralyzed.
     
  15. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2014
    Messages:
    3,753
    Likes Received:
    280
    Location:
    BC
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Excellent advice!
     
    Cinnamon Bunny, RJay and Orchidea123 like this.
  16. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    522
    Likes Received:
    416
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    yeah actually my friend who dates a lot always thinks of her dates as practice because she says she otherwise gets rusty and then makes a big deal out of any potentially good prospect and messes things up.
     
  17. Orchidea123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2015
    Messages:
    660
    Likes Received:
    105
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Totally agree.
    Rjay, go on a date.
    Yes you want to find a long term girlfriend, and certainly, the fear and weighing the options/online facts is there. But really, this is just a one time date. If both of you click, then more should follow.

    I envy you and others for having this opportunity, being able to date and explore and unravel your romantic and sexual preference. I can't do the same.

    You have gone through a lot to get yourself to being out in the open, and available to date. Do it!
    It is also great to squeeze in all the fun and dating prior to settling with 'the one'.
    Keep us posted.
    Really hope you like her.
     
    RJay likes this.
  18. Rana

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2017
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    131
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    RJay,
    I concur that you should go on the date and think of it as 2 potential friends meeting up...no pressure. You're meeting another woman who had the same experience that you are going through (but she had it previously). No worries!

    I know it's intimidating but let me tell you what I have experienced in my very recent foray into the world of lesbian dating. I was fearful about how I would be seen as a newbie. The reality showed me I was worried for nothing. I couldn't believe how positive, encouraging, and accepting (and even loving) most lesbian women have been when I tell them I've recently come out to myself. Oh, and these are all women who've been out forever. I know how you feel but believe me when I say most women are going to be really accepting and understanding about late in lifers (even ones who were not late in lifers themselves). Also, you will see that you will not be the first late in life lesbian that most women will know. I'm happy to say this is very common (I was surprised by that initially). Go and have fun! The ladies will love you! You'll see. ❤️
     
    NeonSocks and RJay like this.
  19. beenthrdonetht

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2016
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    202
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    RJay, you're going to cause a commotion. "Hey, let me through!" "No you move!" "I saw her first!"
     
    OED27x, NeonSocks and Moonsparkle like this.
  20. Moonsparkle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    465
    Likes Received:
    563
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Agreed! I would certainly fess up to the fact that you are a newbie right off the bat. And from experience I can say that some women with more 'lesbionic prowess' :slight_smile: don't find newbies a turn off or anything else negative! As a matter of fact...they can be QUITE okay with it !:smirk: QUITE okay!
     
    RJay likes this.