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Processing through dreams

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by CapColors, Apr 24, 2016.

  1. CapColors

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    Ha! The last thing anyone wants to read about are another person's dreams, amirite? It's like, what's next, I'm going to tell you about each of my cats in detail (sorry cat owners)? Describe my moles? My kids' poop schedule?

    But my dreams have been really moving to me and I just wanted to share them somewhere. I figure no one here will judge me too harshly, if indeed anyone is even tempted to click by the thread title.

    Background: my best friend/trigger crush and I are no longer speaking after going through a two month long "breakup" (posted about on my "The sad ending to my trigger crush" thread).

    So naturally I've been dreaming about her.

    The first dream was about losing her friendship. I dreamed I was Jessica Jones (I look a TINY TINY TINY bit like her---like I'm the 4.5 version if she's a ten) and I'd lost Trish Walker, who in the dream looked like my best friend. I looked everywhere, and got increasingly panicked. She was nowhere to be found and, like Jessica would be, I was manfully trying to deal with my increasing desperation by beating people up and drinking bourbon. (I actually do box and drink too much whiskey, heh.)

    (If you haven't watched JJ, it's really quite good. Not Orphan Black good but close.)

    The second dream was far more interesting--it was about my despair that I cannot interest my friend sexually. We were in some kind of huge apartment and could not leave. There were other people there, and at first it seemed like she, I, and another hot woman were going to get together. *oh yeah* But then she abruptly started focusing on the other woman, making out with her and ignoring me. Distressed, I started listing off my good qualities, trying to get her to notice me. She turned around briefly to compliment my shoulder muscles and then turned back to the woman.

    In the dream, I suddenly decided that I must become a transman. I began the transformation, growing larger muscles and arms, cutting my hair, etc. I even distinctly remember practicing walking in a different way, and feeling bereft when I could not stop my hips from swaying.

    I think I woke up at that point.

    It was fascinating, you guys. I've never had a dream or fantasy about being a man or becoming one. Although I'm secure in my gender orientation, it was a very interesting and intense experience.

    I wonder if the rise in expressing alternative genders in society will cause people to have more ideation about switching genders, in the way that I'm sure the rise in expressing different sexualities has caused more people to have same-sex ideation even if they are straight.

    Who knows!

    Anyway, thank you for letting me post this here. I hope you guys are having a good Sunday.
     
  2. yeehaw

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    I usually really like hearing about people's dreams! Cats too, actually! :wink: Intense dreams have for sure played a part in me processing difficult things. It sounds like that's going on.for you too--in vivid and imaginative ways. Maybe your dreaming mind was trying to acknowledge that you'd have to be someone you are not for it to work with her? Or maybe not. :slight_smile: Thanks for sharing it. Also, I kind of loved the shoulder muscle part. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 yeehaw, Apr 24, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  3. CapColors

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    You are a rare person!

    I process quite a bit through my dreams, too. But the meanings in mine are usually fairly obvious--my dreams tend to be just recapitulations of my waking feelings and thoughts but in more interesting ways.

    I definitely think what you mentioned is what my dreaming mind was trying to deal with, although at no point did I GIVE UP looking for her or trying to be a man, so I'm still processing and haven't reached acceptance yet. *sigh*

    My shoulder muscles are a highlight but like whose aren't? :slight_smile:
     
    #3 CapColors, Apr 24, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  4. rachael1954

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    I love dreams and dream interpretation but yours are basically at face value as you say. The gender switching role thing is interesting! I have had some of those in this last year of metamorphosis in my life also. Or I make out with a dude with a full beard but they end up having boobs.... Anyway I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

    Dreams can get to the truth, and can disturb us also like nothing else. They're some mystical combination of our hopes and fears, our activities and our digestion. :slight_smile:
     
  5. baristajedi

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    Your dreams are awesome, and your identities in the dreams are awesome.

    I think dreams are such a great way for us to work through our frustrations and fears. It sounds like these are very therapeutic for you.

    What do you think the gender bending in your dream means? Is it really related to gender or do you think it represents something else?
     
  6. CameOutSwinging

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    I'm definitely in the club of people who enjoy hearing about the dreams of others! I find it quite fascinating. I don't remember my dreams very often, so it's very cool to me when I hear about it from others. And dream interpretation is just fun, even when at times it is a whole lot of your brain reminding you of things that you may be trying to forget.
     
  7. CapColors

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    Fascinating! You had dreams like mine! We are a puzzle, are we not? :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 25th Apr 2016 at 09:04 PM ----------

    Thanks!

    No, I don't think it's related to gender per se--just that I realize I'd have a better time catching her attention if I were a man or a very beautiful woman. So I dreamed them both up, but sadly she was still not interested. Woe.

    If I could get rid of my love, I would.

    ---------- Post added 25th Apr 2016 at 09:07 PM ----------

    You guys are a strange club haha. I usually find it tedious so it was with a lot of hypocritical cringing that I posted.

    However, I AM now fascinated by rachael's gender bending upthread and am curious if other bi/gays have had similar dreams when "evolving" as she puts it.
     
  8. YeahpIdk

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    I had interesting and telling dreams after my Trigger and I stopped speaking! It was like a duality of my own feelings split between the two of us and how I felt about her feelings and my own.

    I remember a specific one where we were sitting together on a couch, angry at each other and not speaking, and then she started crying. I was trying to stop her and make her speak to me, but she wouldn't, and it was as though I had hurt her - not the other way around.

    I'd wake up thinking I did something to her and everything that happened was my fault for not just speaking up, but would quickly realize that my mind had put my feelings about what I'd done to her onto her -- if that makes sense. Because she never gave me anything to work with, it was all a game, and I had to live the entire thing out in my head! If anything, it helped me to realize how much of a world I'd created in my own mind pertaining to the two of us, and how far it probably was from reality.

    Dreams are silly.
     
  9. Katchoo

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    Yes! Share the dreams! I love them! Haha, my brain is always processing sexuality while I'm asleep. Last night's dream included this really attractive androgenous spy person. :slight_smile: Kind of a cross between Agent 355, Agent Carter, and 7 of 9. ;-) My dreams also regularly have lots of lady parts and lots of sexuality stuff that gets awkward. :slight_smile: