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Problems with lying.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by RedHeadHatter, Mar 12, 2016.

  1. RedHeadHatter

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    Sorry, I really don't know if this topic suits the category but I need some advice.

    Since I'm not out of the closet yet it's pretty common for me , to avoid having anyone suspicious, to lie about some personal information to people. About three years ago I made a bunch of new friends and since I was tired of making up excuses to why I don't go on dates and that kind of things so I told them I was asexual. It worked, they still believe in me and I am happy with my relationship with them, the problem is, now I want to tell one of my friends the truth and I feel like she will feel betrayed, to say the least, she was very comprehensive when I told her I was asexual, but to say all that was a lie (and some other stuff were lies too), I don't know how she would react.

    My second problem is, I became so used to lying about my sexuality that I started to tell white lies in all of my life aspects, sometimes they are not really that necessary but I feel like it is easier to lie to people instead of explaining everything in details. It never changes anything, they are really small lies that usually people forget, but should I try and stop doing it? It has become quite a bad habit...

    (English is not my mother language sorry if I made any gramatical or lexical mistakes)
     
  2. bingostring

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    If she is good, she will not be upset that you were not 100% honest. She will probably understand and hopefully not be upset.

    She may just think you are uncertain about your sexuality. After all, nothing is black or white. You are 18 and this forum has many stories of 'questioning' or 'uncertain' people.

    Sexuality is a private thing if you want it to be. And you do not have to be open until you feel ready - and safe - to talk about it.

    It sounds like you have a friend that you can trust?

    White lies... are a coping strategy. It is true they are not good, but sometimes it is necessary, But maybe in a few years you will be past this stage and in a position where you can be out properly and then you can leave the white lies behind you.

    The priority is to be safe, and move forward at a speed that feels 'OK' with you.
     
  3. Seahawksfan

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    Hey I think your friend will understand People know when in the closet is a very tough thing for a person so they are gonna lie about their sexuality and that's just something that happens I think she will be pleased you don't have to lie anymore to her When you tell her the truth your gay