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Problem with coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MaraJ, May 9, 2021.

  1. MaraJ

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi there, I have been thinking about coming out as trans to my family, my Mum kind of knows already (she found my clothes and makeup around a year ago) and I'm pretty sure the rest of my family will be cool with it but I'm not sure if I'm ready just yet. But when I do decide to come out and start to transition I would have a problem, I go to an all boys school and it would be difficult to move schools as it's really close to my house and my parents really want my siblings and I to go to catholic schools. Am I allowed to stay at my current school as all of my friends are there or do i have to move?
     
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    A few people
    Welcome to EC.

    Since you are a minor and you are still dependent on your parents that will really affect whether you should come out and what will happen afterwards. If there would be any actual danger from you coming out I would say that you should not do so. Even if you are not at risk of becoming homeless you might be in danger of ridicule or gaslighting and such. If your safety is not in question then coming out may very well help you.

    If you did come out and you were supported in transition then of course you would have to change schools. A girl cannot go to an all boys school. I am also virtually certain that you would get zero support in a catholic school regarding you transitioning (whether an all boys or all girls or even a coed school).
     
    Lemony likes this.
  3. quebec

    Advisor Full Member

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    Some people
    Maraj.....Under the best of circumstances, coming out as trans MtF at 14 years old can be tough. If your parents support you, that's one major hurdle that you will have passed. However, as @QuietPeace mentioned, the situation with attending an all boys Catholic school is another hurdle that will be difficult. You would need to have a very serious conversation with your parents about your schooling before you made this decision. Even if there is Co-Ed Catholic school available, they are still unlikely to accept you as a student. So you have some decisions to make. That your parents support you in your transition is quite important, not only in basically backing your transition, but also in working with you to find a way to continue your education in a school that will not reject you simply because you are MtF. This is something that will require a long conversation, probably more than one with your parents. If they really do back you in your transition, then they will be able to help you find a school that will be accepting.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag: