Disclaimer: I know that there is no one way to be gay, and that there isn't really a way to look gay. I don't want to enforce harmful stereotypes or anything like that, just want to fit in a little better. I am looking for ways to subtly identify myself as non straight. I have long hair which I am thinking of chopping short to appear less straight passing. Although I know that there's not really such thing as a gay appearance or gay haircut, but I was hoping to hear someone else's perspective on this. I also don't want to enforce the stereotype that man lesbians have short hair/ are more masculine, but I'm tired of everyone assuming that I'm straight.
What about lgbt rainbow accessories or clothes (hat, scarf)? Like switch it whit whatever accessories you usually wear. Or just dye you hair in lgbt pride colour.
I think it should be okay, I live in the most liberal city in a red state. I don't know, I'm usually pretty subtle but I'm just so tired of hiding.
There is definitely a gay appearance in the sense that we all like to send signals to each other and say "hey, I'm one of you! I'm here!!". The signals chance generation to generation, but for the most part they have always been there. Some people choose not to send those signals and it doesn't mean anything other than they don't want to, but some of us enjoy being visibly gay. That is completely fine. Your job is not to make people feel comfortable or be the spokesperson of all lesbians. Your job is to live a life you are proud of and for you to enjoy it. If you want to get short hair, wear flannel and whatever else then go for it. Be out there, send signals to other queer ladies and enjoy it. Never live your live trying to represent us all. Its a recipe for an unhappy live based on "What will straight people think?". Don't give them that power and do what makes you happy. If you want to play it safe, then go all out for pride this year. Try it on and see how you like it