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Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by DesertTortoise, Nov 16, 2013.

  1. DesertTortoise

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    How do we present ourselves?

    It's been said, that short of being naked--we're all in drag. There's always a message.

    You say you don't give a fuck? Just dress to be comfortable, wear what's cheap.

    That's gonna be your message.

    Ok. I'm comfortable with being cis male. But andogenous. Not drag queen androgenous. Genderfuck andorogenous... what I was totally happy with at the Radical Faerie gathering at SMA. How I LOVED the Goat Botique! But in everyday life, my street presence... I look in the mirror.. and really don't like what I see... so fucking "MALE".. .even with the glittery shirts and nail polish.

    And peeps just take my look as... I'm eccentric. Always have been. But like...

    How do I put this? I want to look MORE queer. More gender bending. But only so much I can do on the street ... safely.

    I look so much like a fucking 'guy'... makes me sad.
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! If you want to look more queer, there is nothing that would really prevent you from pursuing it. Of course, if you fear for your safety, you need to take that into account. At the same time, I have met men who really just took the bull by its horns and did what they felt they needed to do, regardless of how others would view them.

    If there is something that is important enough to you, sometimes you need to rise above what everybody else thinks and do what you feel is right for you. What could help is perhaps belonging to a group that provides a safe space where you can express yourself fully.
     
  3. Techno Kid

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    You could try wearing shirts from the women's section... I would like to do that.. I just need a girl to go with me so I don't feel so scared. :icon_redf
     
  4. DesertTortoise

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    Not just clothes. My body, my face, how I walk... more than that probly, how I feel. Like I'm carrying more of the old 'straight' person than I want, and I'm not comfortable there.
    A minor problem. Part of getting my head into my new role. Wanting a still deeper sense of belonging.
     
  5. Mirko

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    I'm wondering if you are trying too hard trying to become the new person that you have imagined. Sure, there are things you can change, but than there are also things that you have to accept as being just a part of you and that are going to be hard to change.

    Accepting and embracing some of the 'old', will not only help you to change how you feel but also begin to work on that sense of belonging.
     
  6. biAnnika

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    Yeah, hard from what you say to tell whether you are describing a variance in sexuality or a variance in gender...and maybe conflating the two?

    Who is this person you are trying to be true to? What would your ideal look be? Your ideal walk? Your ideal feeling?

    Understanding these seems important for you...but Mirko is also onto something really critical, in that to be really whole, you need to integrate this new person with who you've been all along...need to accept that person as well as embrace the new.