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Preparing to Come out to My Son

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dionysios, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. Dionysios

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    Set for this Sunday!
     
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  2. Dionysios

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    So great your mom felt so comfortable to open up to you! You two must have a very close relationship as a result.
     
  3. Chip

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    Best of luck with this! Let us know how it goes.
     
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  4. Dionysios

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    Thanjs so much. Will keep everyone posted!
     
  5. Chip

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    The age of your son is a factor here. If he's an older teen or young adult, it could be worthwhile telling him. The best way to evaluate these things is to put yourself in his shoes. If you were him, would you not want to know about something that's a pretty important part of who your father is? Often the justification for not disclosing is rooted in shame, and by disclosing, we help to resolve our own shame, which helps us to feel more whole.
     
    #25 Chip, Feb 14, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019
  6. quebec

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    Dinysios.....Hello again! Like others here I am interested if you've had "The Talk" with your son? Since people tend to call the Birds & the Bees talk with teenagers "The Talk"...I thought it was fitting! :old_smile: I have thought a lot about you since your post. Hoping and praying that if it has happened, that your son was accepting. I had never entertained the thought of being afraid of telling my son anything. However, after accepting myself and coming out to my wife, I knew I would eventually need to tell him. That terrified me for quite a while. I finally did work through all those emotions, but I do know just how difficult it was for me and so I do feel the apprehension and fear that I know you have felt. I want my son to be proud of his father. I wanted him to be proud that I had accepted who I really was and had stopped hiding from the world. I was so fearful that he would be neither. Now I am even more proud of him than I was before. I am only out to a few people, which is fine as I see no good reason to shout it to the world. But coming out to my wife was actually easier than telling him. Everybody is different and your situation, though very similar, is not the same as mine. Nonetheless, I wish for you to have a strong, loving relationship with your son and his family. I hope for you to have a wonderful if perhaps confusing time as you begin living as who you really are. While I don't plan to ever come out publically, the fact that my family and a few very close friends know and support me has destroyed the secret that tried to destroy my life for so many years. I pray for you to also be free of the darkness that keeping a secret like that from the entire world can cause. Please do keep us updated...as I said before...you are part of our wonderful LGBTQ Family and we do care...we care a lot.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #26 quebec, Feb 14, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019
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  7. Railwayj

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    Well Jacob you can’t say your family isn’t open about things lol. Wish I could have been out at your age, but times were different then. You are lucky to be in the situation where you have openness. What did your step dad have to say about your and your moms revelations?