Discussion in 'Anonymous Support and Advice' started by Mirko, Jun 20, 2014.
I think I might actually be bisexual and not a lesbian like I thought I was...
I don't think I'm going to hear back from anyone for a while, but depending on how they answer, then I could gauge if I have a problem. If I do, I'm not sure how I'm going to even tell my doctor, especially with everything going on around me.
I think I might be a Hufflepuff....
IDK though cause I really like closed blinds and dark cool spaces. So maybe Slytherin.
I tell my family I don't want a relationship... And even though I told them I am a lesbian (truthfully, I am bisexual), I ultimately want to marry a man. I just don't believe I will ever meet one who will love me and treat me right (thanks to my parents). So it's better if I just stuff it down and pretend I'm happy being alone.
Hi there! Trying to ignore your own wishes and dreams in terms of wanting to be in a relationship, and pretending to be happy when you are not, will make things only harder. If possible, try not to set yourself up for failure by focusing on something that could very possibility be wrong. While you currently feel that you might not be able to find someone because of your parents, it doesn't mean that it will always be like this.
How come you feel your won't someone because of you parents?
My parents were always fighting, they stayed together out of necessity, and don't respect each other, let alone like each other. I didn't have much of a role model in either of them.
I am terrified of having a relationship like my parents'.
Hi there! I am sorry to hear that your parents didn't have a good relationship. While their relationship had an impact on, I'm sure you have also been able to gain some insights that will help you to form a relationship that is quite different from that of your parents'. It might take you some time to figure out what works and what does not, and leave your fears behind you, but your experiences will perhaps guide you in approaching a relationship differently. (*hug*)
It's been about two days, and the responses I got said what I'm feeling isn't uncommon; that psychological cravings can stay with you for a long time or for life regardless of your current use history. So maybe none of this is in my head after all. I just know my family or those I know IRL can't find out.
If they do, everyone will either say I'm being a hypochondriac or start pointing fingers at one another for leading me to this point; that it's this person's fault for making me a nervous wreck, it's that person's fault for my interpersonal relationships crashing and burning, and so on. I know my mom for sure will either blame him or be up and arms with the doctor who prescribed me them to begin with years ago, and likely pulled me off cold turkey instead of tapering me--but even then, I can't remember who that person is or if I even was taken them of ct like that. It doesn't help one damn bit that I admitted to myself that I'd use for rec purposes to get the cravings to go away, which I know isn't good for me or my liver. It's been almost four goddamn years, man. Why me? People have applauded me for staying clean (if I can even say that) with all the temptation I had on the table, but I only did it out of obligation to not trigger those around me who have been raised by addicts. Is that noble? I don't know.
This fucking sucks, and nobody I know can help. I want to confide in my friends who are in recovery, but at the same time, I don't want the conversation to upset them or possibly have them relapse. I can't find any coping skills worth a damn, and there's no way I'm going to an AA/NA/BA meeting. Screw that. I'm not going back there. I just wish they [the cravings] would go away.
I think i can be brave enough to post this somewhere without being a onymous.
I am jealous of people, good people, bad people... it doesnt matter. I'm envious of people because they all have one thing... one thing they can do i never could.
Ive had people ask me where i see myself in 10 years. I lie and give them soke crap about being a video game designer or psychologist. Or laying out some kind of plan...
In reality, every time i close my eyes and try to imagine a future... a REAL future, i just feel cold and numb. I dont get any types of visions or ideas. I just blank out. I feel empty...
Ever since that starter , ive always had this nagging feeling... when people say anything about "In the future you " or "You have many years ahead youyou",i just suddenly flash back to that moment... and think... that i actually may not have many years to live. I always feel like something could easily kill me in the future... and suddenly im not alive. i always feel like im destined to just die... by a certain way in a certain place or time.
So if any of you wonder why i stress moving forward so much... this is why.
i always feel like every second i waste is just... me wasting what i have of shortheer life...
when i enjoy my time im fine... but when i sit around and im unabke to do anything productive... i just feel like im losing a precious amount of time where... if i dont use it... i lose it,and there could potentially never be another moment free for me to move forward.
because i feel like simply... im going to be killed. In some way or another... i just feel like it will happen...
I really want to get drunk, but don't have enough and all the stores are closed.
But thats exactly why I don't keep any at home anymore. So yay for reasonable me for planning ahead for depressed me? (Not like its a secret anymore aha)
Late night jogs actually really help my mood.
I only recently realized that one of my sexual encounters 6 years ago may have been a form of sexual assault. But, the whole situation is shades of gray and tangled up with definitions of consent and coercion. And it wasn't until I wrote it down for my therapist that I realized how it sounded. How it was. How the three guys didn't let it go at "no". How I was caught in a compromising and vulnerable situation, already naked, being told "it's fine. come on. you know you want to." until I gave in. How one of them wanted to do anal, which I'd never done before. And it hurt trying, and I said so, pulled away and asked him to not do that. How we went through that several times until we weren't just trying anymore - it was happening, so I stopped fighting and let it happen. And the whole time I thought "well, this is something that you've thought about before, so it's fine. you must want it."
And it's six years later and I'm just now thinking... maybe it wasn't fine.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. (((((((((((((((((Hug)))))))))))))))))).
You did not deserve that.
You are right. I think I sometimes forget that I am my own person and I don't have to let anyone influence me...especially when it can be damaging..
Thank you. *hugs*
I have an eating disorder and i miss starving so much but my family and friends needs me to keep eating and i don't know how much more I can take before i break
I have an eating disorder and i miss starving so much but my family and fneeds me to keep eating and i don't know how much more I can take before i break
Im fucked in the head right?
so im gay, ive known that for like 2 or 3 years now. but once I got the chance to lose my virginity I didnt want it at all (so didnt take it). is that weird? at the moment I feel like I dont want romance with anyone and dont want to have sex with anyone but I still find guys extremely attractive, I can even feel love for someone (you know, getting attached to them in that way), but I just cant.....like cant compute the whole relationship or sex thing.
whats wrong with me?
I don't think anything is wrong with you. It just sounds to me that you are not ready for a relationship yet (let alone sex). You didn't say how old you are, can I assume you are still a teenager? If so, you shouldn't worry about sex or relationships until you meet someone you really connect with.
Take it from me: I made huge mistakes sleeping with guys (who didn't even like me) when I was nowhere near ready and it was terrible. I ended up hurting myself more than they hurt me.
Anyway. Don't feel bad, or think you're fucked up. You'll know when you're ready.
When people go on an on about dumb shit like getting cut off in traffic, meanwhile I'm thinking if that was my biggest issue I'd be fucking ecstatic.