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Possible friendship and different levels of experience

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Tightrope, Sep 20, 2018.

  1. Tightrope

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    I'm somewhat experienced. Not as much as some who go balls out, but enough. I am befriending someone who seems more conservative and sheltered, and I'm thinking he is not that experienced. He appears to be somewhat religious. He seems to like me. I like him. At the very least, I'd be happy to be friends with him. I want to be friends with him. What I don't want to do is traumatize him with jumping through sexual forks in the road if he moves slow. I won't assume that just because someone is middle aged, they will also be experienced. I know that's not always true. Some have held off. Any advice on what to do and how to progress?
     
  2. CL1990

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    im in the same situation but on the other side (im the conservative). i would say being respectful is key so that he trusts you and he feels you are following his pace so he doesnt feel that you como onto him to strong...good luck!
     
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  3. Bouldghirl

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    Hope you don’t mind a lady contributing. There are two kinds of experience here. Life experience and sexual experience. Usually they aren’t at the same levels. You say that he is middle aged. From that you can safely assume he has life experience. You cannot say the same sexually. You admit that yourself in your post. You say you are experienced. Use that experience to guide someone less so. I can’t tell where that path will lead. I do know that kindness and patience can lead to satisfaction.
     
  4. Rade

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    Wow...I really like your post.....I think if I was you I would take it slowly, don't move to quicky, guide and show the person the way. You don't want to scare them off. It could be an amazing journey and you could build this person's confidence up.
    I'm only recently out, not been with a guy for 20 years plus, but when I meet someone and if they're experienced I will ask them to slowly show me the way. For example I have not had gay sex but want to try it, but would need the right person to build my confidence up. Enjoy the journey and hope it goes well
    Rade
     
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  5. Tightrope

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    Thank you for these nice words and perspectives.
     
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  6. Tightrope

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    Update - I still see this person every now and then. We converse each time and it doesn't seem to go anywhere, even though the conversations are interesting.

    I know there's the notion of cutting your losses. I think a friendship is still possible, though even that will take time. He would be considered masculine but he is very reserved and private and, from what I can tell, most of his small group of friends tend to be women. This is a middle aged man.

    I'm a little frustrated but I've also got the time. I know you don't have enough info, but do you have any perspectives on grown men like this? Is a person's experience (mine), as opposed to assertiveness, likely to show through? I sometimes think about this.