Any Day By Trevin Michael The trees are quiet the wind is gone the sky is cloudy and the rain has stopped. Just like any day I wake and eat breakfast making my way through the day smiling every now and then Each day runs into the next as I grow older slowly on this giant blue boat I call home as it sails through the stars
I'm nobody to properly critique writing, but I can say that I like reading the poem, I can feel the mood of it clearly and it's nice and peaceful. Most of the lines seem the same length, maybe if a goal of yours was to make it even more serene or some dreamy/nostalgic mood, then maybe try adding more variation with just single words? I think it slows down the reader nicely if that's the mood you're trying to emphasize. If not, oh well, great poem! And congrats on having guts to even post anything you write, I hate just showing my essays to other people... lol
I like that Poem Trevin. I am not English native speaker but your poem is very simple but a lots meaning. I tried to understand and I love poet.
This is one of my favorite poems that I wrote: (hope you like it) At Night At night Things can get bad But whatever you do, don’t worry and don’t be sad. At night The dark can take control of you. Even if you don’t want it to. At night We wonder what will happen the next day. And think about the things people say. At night Some stay up until Sunrise, Others just lay there closing their eyes. At night We try to forget about the hate. And realize we can’t just sit around and wait. At night Daylight seems so far away. So we either wait or we pray. At night Someone’s pillow is filled with tears. While another’s mind is filled with fears. At night We all do different things to help us feel like we’ll all be okay. But we all know, without change, it’ll be the same everyday.
Both poems are really well written. I felt like I connected more to "At Night" just because of the place I am at right now in my journey. Maybe sometime we could collect all the poetry out there on this site into one place as inspiration for other writers our there
i just composed the poem on the spot I am a published poet, and well cannot use my published material it would tell others who I am. So I am left with writing new ones under my nick name on here.
No matter how it is formatted and I can play around with that it was fun to write it the other day. Any Day By Trevin Michael The trees are quiet the wind is gone the sky is cloudy and the rain has stopped. Just like any day I wake and eat breakfast making my way through the day smiling every now and then Each day runs into the next as I grow older slowly on this giant blue boat I call home as it sails through the stars
Both poems were good. I applaud both of you for posting something so personal online. I'd post some of my poems but the paranoia won't allow me. I'm always scared that someone will steal it and make it theirs. Maybe some day I will publish it in a book, because then there's proof that it's mine.