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Pet peeves with LGBTQ+ media representation

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Technology' started by Dreamsexul, Dec 30, 2019.

  1. Dreamsexul

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    I'm sure many of you must have a pet peeve with how certain gender or sexualities are represented in the media. Certain tired cliches or bad stereotypes, or perhaps just a lack of representation.

    For me, it irritates me no end that objectums, technos, otherkin, or folk with waifu/husbondo, are always portrayed as sad loners who need to be 'cured' or 'fixed' or come to some realisation that brings them back to 'normality'. People who fall in love with robots or dolls or digital programmes are often 'cured' by the end of the film, and I disliked how even in Glow the otherkin character was 'released' by the end. When will there be positive and happy portrayals in the media?

    So what's your pet peeve?
     
  2. Cas girl

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    I have a huge list.

    - The hetero normalisation of a homosexual relationship “ who’s the husband / wife ?” ( Asian dramas)
    - Consent issues ( Asian dramas )
    - Very less or lack of representation of other spectrums of LGBT.
    - “ bisexuals are only interested in a threesome”
    - Making fun of effeminate men ( Asian dramas )
    - Transgender people only used for comedy purpose ( Asian dramas )
    - Designated top/ bottom ( Asian dramas )
    - Girls always as villains in a gay love story ( Asian dramas )

    That’s it for now.
    Have a good day.
     
  3. Regaen

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    For me it's gotta be the 'gay best friend' cliche. It's so obvious theres no real reason for them to even be there other than throwing off one liners and providing ice cream to weepy, brokenhearted women. Why even do that, when you could just make the best friend a woman? Why trivialize gay men that way? They have nothing better to do than console straight women? Drives me crazy.

    I also don't like how gay man are portrayed as having those high, twittering voices. I know some effeminate men, but a gay man is still a man, why make them sound like a drugged out Celine Dion?
     
  4. Devil Dave

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    ^THIS because it affects me in real life. A woman meets me and she wants to make me her best friend so she can be like the leading lady in her own personal rom-com with me as her stereotypical gay best friend. No, darling, I don't want to go dancing with you at nigthclubs, I don't want to go shopping with you and exchange fashion tips, and I don't want to instruct you on how to give guys the best blowjobs they're ever gonna have.

    I think one of the most refreshing lines I've heard in a TV show was in Secrets and Lies when the main character's daughter complains about visiting her gay uncles because they aren't as fun as gay people are supposed to be, and her dad's straight best friend says something like "now now, gay people can be just as dull and boring as the rest of us."
     
  5. BothWaysSecret

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    Little to no mentioning of bisexuality. Sure there are some out bisexual characters out there, but it's a rarity.

    Or how bisexuality is swept under the rug. Lile, when I first saw "Bohemian Rhapsody" it pissed me off when Mary dismissed Freddie when he said he was bisexual and said "Freddie, you're gay." I get that during that time period, that was a common belief, but the fact that that is still common today gets on my nerves.
     
  6. Liz81

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    I agree but I have a problem with the media, movies and TV shows always misrepresenting the LGBTQ community. "AJ The The Queen" from Netflix is a good example. Come on, maybe it's because I grew up in a very heterosexual world and I didn't expose myself too much to the community but I think too many people from the community are always talking about sex, drag queens and how that's normal entertainment, people cross dressing etc... Again, I never got exposed much by people like me growing up so I'm sure I'm wrong but I don't usually find content of anyone from the LGBTQ community just doing things that heterosexual people would do like just hanging out, cooking, watching TV, hiking or something! It's always drag queens performing onstage, gay men having sex, lesbian porn and women wearing men's clothes etc... This is why I struggled so much for a long time about coming out because I don't want to be perceived as the woman who just want "sex, sex, sex" all the time because I don't! Hard to believe because I'm still a virgin but I'm waiting for the right person to come along so I think sex can wait. Though I would love to have sex! I know there are others who can't, not just lesbians or gay people but straight people too.

    Honestly, I get fed up with people talking about drag shows all the time when I'm looking for something to do in my community that has to do with the lgbtq community. I like other shows live like musicals, concerts or plays and I don't care about drag shows. Does that mean I'm not gay? I don't think so. I'm just a lesbian who wants to live a normal life and fit in with different people of different sexual identities, even straight people. I honestly don't understand the hype of drag shows or cross dressing and even gay pride parades where women are wearing almost nothing and showing their butt cracks or a costume with penises all over it. I can honestly understand why there are still homophobes and anti-gay people out there. The media are always misrepresenting the lgbtq community but you know what, there are shows that air content that may seem like all we do is think about sex. On "AJ The Queen," there was an episode of a 10 year old boy and some blogger wrote about it and got offended because of the language they were using that isn't really appropriate for kids and because it shows that all they thought about was sex and in the lgbtq community, I don't think we all think about sex or porn all the time but honestly, I think there are some of them who might think that way. That's why I struggled with coming to terms with my sexuality for a very long time because I don't want to interact with people who think about drag shows or costumes with penises all the time and know people think that we're all about sex and porn. I'm sorry but I don't! I've been trying to reach out to people in my area who are lgbtq who don't think that way all the time and that isn't easy for me. I was just at a meetup lunch for lesbians and first subject they brought up was a drag show and I'm like, "oh, no..." Fortunately, it didn't last long and we talked about other interesting things like Harry Potter, what someone's sister and brother in law does for a living, where they're traveling and animals. Very interesting topics!

    Maybe if people started talking publicly about what they do, how they feel about everything not related to lgbtq, then we'd have less homophobes and anti-gay people who don't think we think about sex all the time. I think it is possible to be gay and not think about sex so much and going to a gay pride parade without all those costumes people would consider offensive. Sorry but I think going to a parade with a costumes with dildos on it is a bad representation of the lgbtq. Does it mean they think about private body parts all the time? Really? I just want to be able to go out and not be worried about people thinking we just think of sex and date someone who is not just a woman but a woman who looks and act like a woman! I don't like dating butch women because I feel like I'm dating a man if I do. I'm still trying to understand why lesbians date butch women with very short haircuts and wearing men's clothes if they're not attracted to men. I get people love the personality too like the smile, outgoing, humor, intelligence etc.... If I was attracted to humor, then how come I'm not attracted to straight men who are funny?

    I just wish there were more movies and TV shows showing people just doing things that straight people do so people would stop calling homosexuality a mental illness!

    Sorry I'm ranting. I just have a lot of feelings about this and wish I could talk to more people who feel the way I do.
     
  7. BlueMonday

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    The idea that gay guys are this vivacious, happy-go-lucky bunch who love and respect each other. Reality check: Gay guys can be just as venomous to each other as straight guys are, and we can be just as dull and cynical, too.

    Also, the fact that most gay flicks are centered on the innocuous, romance genre.
     
  8. Devil Dave

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    There aren't nearly enough dull and cynical gay guys on TV. We need a gay male version of Daria. That's something I could relate to.
     
  9. Madge Beurde

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    I have a long term friend who’d give Daria a run for her money. He’s an academic philosopher with acute aspergers syndrome. I’ve never seen his like portrayed in either a movie or on TV, especially anything like a gay version.

    Wandering slightly off topic I’m intrigued and disturbed with the saturation media coverage of sexual abuse within the church (especially the Roman kind) without anyone having the courage to ask questions about the possible link between a theology that worships a God who tortures his own son and possible links with attracting pedophiles into ministry. ‘Suffer little children to come unto me’? Matthew Ch 19, V 14,
     
  10. Madge Beurde

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    I understand your viewpoint and frustration but there’s one reality just about everyone ignores. A significant number of men who are into drag (either for fun or to earn a living) are straight. Danny La Rue comes to mind. When male heterosexuals get their rocks off with females while in a frock it’s often simply called ‘cross dressing’. There’s a hell of lot more of it going on than most people, both straight and gay, realise.
     
  11. Michael

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    This. I've heard it named bi-erasure. We don't exist, since many still conceive us as neither straight nor hetero.
    We freaking fade to grey...

    Also promiscuous bisexuals. It's a fact we are bisexuals because we are desperate for sex, right? That is why we are not even aware of the gender of our partners. Just desperate, very desperate.

    I'm cool with the cool bisexual though, can totally relate, living in my high rise loft and playing often my vintage jazz vinyls on my quite expensive ultracool turntable. Excuse me, my drone delivery has just arrived and I need to check the state of my jacket. Isn't it shameful, how careless those dry cleaners idiots are nowadays. The other day they left a human white hair. White hair!

    I refuse to show up for less than 10000.
     
  12. Josh10

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    I always hate how they always make gay guys so weak and girly. I play sports, baseball and soccer, and love football too. Not big enough to play it but love watching it (Go Cowboys!!)
     
  13. EleanorHunter

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    I'm honestly just tired of the movie where the character is a woman engaged to a guy who then has a wild, passionate affair with another woman, before ultimately just going back to that guy in the end.

    I can guarantee that almost everyone who reads that sentence will think of a different movie, and therein lies the problem!
     
    #13 EleanorHunter, Mar 28, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2020
  14. a cow gorl

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    My pet peeve is that none of the relationships are stable. They either cheat, have a big fight, or one of them dies. I understand that this happens in all relationships, but why are movies and shows doing this to specifically lgbtq+ relationships. Almost every straight relationship they turn out fine and live happily ever after together.
     
  15. Shorthaul

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    That is one that bugs me, I get that lots of people have bad relationships, but not all of them that end are disasters.
     
  16. PanRat

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    I have a list:
    -When ppl ask “who’s the guy” or “who’s the girl” in a homo relation ship. I mean, why does everything have to be hetero? It’s a homo relationship there’s no guy and girl, thats the whole point
    -How LGBT people aren’t represented enough. For example, on Snapchat if u go to the marriage filters, there is not a single filter that isn’t hetero. The all had a pic of a girl and a guy. It’s as though that people just assume that everyone around them is straight
    -It should be normalized to ask for someone’s pronouns when meeting someone, instead of just assuming their pronouns based on how they look. There are many afab non-binaries that are referred to as a women just because they kept their long hair. It’s not that hard to just ask for someone’s pronouns and it should be normalized
    -The idea that being gay is “the weird” sexuality and that straight is almost the standard “normal” one. A little while back one of my straight friends said “what if straight was the weird sexuality and gay was the normal one” I could tell she’s been on to me about being gay and when she tries to bring the topic up it just ends up coming wrong. But the fact that the average persons mindset is so heteronormative is so strange. Gay isn’t the “weird” sexuality, it’s simply the alternative sexuality to straight. It’s just that it so happen to be less common, but that should be a reason for it to be viewed a “weird” way.
    -This one REALLY gets me. When people are like “homophobia doesn’t exist anymore that was like back in the day.” So now not only are there horrible things happening to LGBT ppl nearly anywhere u look, but now there are ppl who are completely oblivious to it happening, leaving only LGBT ppl and conscious allies to fight for their own rights. Also, the fact that horrible things are still happening to LGBT ppl is just so weird. It feels like I’m living in the past. It feels unreal yet it’s happening all around me. A lot of guys in school like to use the word gay as an insult and refers to someone who is weak. It doesn’t make any sense. Again, it’s just a different sexuality, that’s it
    -Homophobes that come to pride parades. I don’t think I need to say much more
    -Homophobes who use their religion as an excuse to be homophobic. I just- ugh
    -The fact that in a group on girls, the word “boys” automatically means a possible relationship, and vise versa. If someone says “you don’t know how to talk to boys” most ppl will hear “you don’t know how to flirt” and that needs to stop. Ppl need to stop assuming that everyone is straight and take into consideration that it’s very likely in a group of friends that there might be a gay friend.
    -school not teaching about LGBT history. At least where I am, no school in my area teach about LGBT history. We learn about black history and there is no racism ((at least out loud between students)) We don’t learn about LGBT history and there’s people all over school with attack helicopter jokes, girls saying ew to lesbians, boys using gay as an insult, someone on my bus saying out loud when no one asked “I don’t like gay ppl, or trans” right in front of me, letting that same person go to pride club for the religion part which btw not a good mix of people, and even some little kid passing me in the hallway and saying “lesbian” as if it were supposed to be an insult, just because I was wearing ripped jeans and a plaid. I mean, they weren’t entirely wrong, but still.
    -Straight cis people saying the F slur all the time, around possible LGBT ppl. I’m not even gonna start with that
    -people who say things like “just don’t hit on me” or “just don’t get a crush on me” or “I’m not anti LGBT or anything, I’m just not comfortable being around you/inviting u to sleepovers anymore” like why can’t u just support ur friend. U and then if ur like “don’t worry, ur not my type” they go “why? are u saying I’m ugly?”
    I hv so many more but this is getting rlly long lol
     
  17. PanRat

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    *shouldn’t
     
  18. Phoenyx07

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    OMG I feel like no one wants to hang out with me anymore or have a sleepover cuz they think I'll flirt or do something while they're asleep. Like, no I don't like them, I know they're straight, why would I try to do things when they are straight like what??? Also, I wish my school taught about LGBT history. They're so much to learn and its just history like everything else, why is it any different?
     
  19. PanRat

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    Aw I feel super bad for u. That’s why I’m afraid to come out to my friends :frowning2:
     
  20. La Corbeau

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    I hate the whole Lesbian Death trope. TV and movie producers kill off a LOT of openly queer female characters. We deserve a happy ending too, right?