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People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by tay98, May 1, 2017.

  1. tay98

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    okay so I know for some people this sounds like I have it easy or whatever, but I don't want people to think i'm straight. I'm quite feminine I guess and I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on how to subtly let people know i'm bi without announcing it.
    For example, I know this girl who's gay but she looks like a stereotypical lesbian (short hair, snapbacks etc) so everyone just knows
    I just like makeup and skirts and people just don't know I like girls. Also, my outfits are pretty much all dark colours so it's not like i'm gonna start wearing rainbow shirts or anything.
    Mainly just want girls to realise i'm flirting and no just being a nice straight girl
     
  2. lifelesshippie

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    There is no particular look to being gay as being gay is simply a matter of who you are attracted to.
    you could try to fulfill the stereotype, but i'm not going to condone that.
     
  3. Jax12

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    Someone will come along and like you just the way you are. The moment you try to be someone you aren't is just a turn off to people and won't attract the right people.
     
  4. CobraKiy3

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    I agree with Jax12, but if u really want to change, flannel shirts
     
  5. Nedussa

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    Maybe try something subtle, like a rainbow bracelet or necklace without changing your style.
     
  6. Blueyes

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    If you ever get a chance, perhaps try to mention it in social circles when it comes up in conversation. Follow/like/share lgbt content on social media (and that way, the girl you're flirting with may later see it and realize you were flirting. Treat it like a game rather than a prize you'll win in a few minutes.) Wear subtle rainbow pieces like Nedussa mentioned. Perhaps an "I'm a lesbian" t-shirt. (Comedy is a nice ice-breaker sometimes, and you won't even have to bring it up.)

    P.S. I disagree with a lot of the comments here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with stereo-typing yourself. (I've always wanted to be more of a feminine type, though it's never come naturally to me so I dress *mostly like a straight guy.)
     
  7. KBrandonSB

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    More obvious flirting I suppose haha I'm not sure how they could twist flirting into genuine kindness or maybe I'm flirting wrong XD
     
  8. 18breanna

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    Wear a gay-ish shirt and tshirts from Autostraddle...just some subtly gay apparel thats also girly
     
  9. Soulstone

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    It's always so confusing..When a girls kinda sorta flirts with you..and you can never be 100% sure, unless she is very specific..So I don't think the rainbow bracelet will do the trick - a lot of straight people wear it to support gay rights.
    They should come up with a secret sigh language or something
     
    #9 Soulstone, May 1, 2017
    Last edited: May 1, 2017
  10. Chronos

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    That would be amazing!:roflmao:

    We should start a secret LGBT handshake or something...
     
  11. Really

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    So, you're being nice to a girl but you want her to know that it's actually flirting? How about moving one inch closer to her as you do it? Just that tiny bit too close for just friends. And then back again so she can decide if she wants to engage in the flirting, too. Extended eye contact is also supposed to be a sign. :wink:
     
  12. 18breanna

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    Agree! Most people can pick up on someone being interested in a little more than friendship...subtle quick things like knee/hair touches are ok to test the water, and they're easy to back out of if the other person gets uncomfortable
     
  13. tay98

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    Haha I like you're way of thinking!

    ---------- Post added 3rd May 2017 at 04:55 PM ----------

    Never heard of Autostraddle. Definitely gonna check it out!
     
  14. Raziel00

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    The whole "too close to be just friends" thing doesn't apply to some people I know. I have a few friends that are very touchy-feely. They are always touching peoples arms, putting their hands on their shoulder, or hand-on-hand in general conversation with complete strangers.
     
  15. tay98

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    Most of the girls i know are like that. That's why it's so hard :frowning2:
     
  16. WeDreamOfPeace

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    How about wiggling your eyebrows in morse code to mean "gay" or "bi"?
    Gay: --. .- -.--
    Bi: -... ..

    On the actual subject of the thread... sorry to sound super-stereotypical but how about some flannel or some piercings?
     
  17. DirectionNorth

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    ^ That is hilarious!! I actually pictured it!

    But, I agree and sympathize with the threadstarter, I have the exact same issues. I get way too much attention from guys and creeps (not that it should matter what I wear, but I purposely wear covering clothing even in summer whenever i'm commuting because I have no clue what is attracting them!! I'm very street smart, I don't give the creeps any time of day.) It really frustrates me. Many people are surprised when I (feel comfortable enough to) come out to them, and I've only gotten attention from a few women.

    I like the advice of wearing subtle rainbow jewelry and things, and will continue to find more ways like that. But I'm open to other advice and tips as well!
     
  18. grass

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    Wear rainbow flag paraphernalia. I wish I could.
     
  19. Adhafera

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    Pride buttons or bracelets! Like the others said: with the rainbow flag or the bi flag colors.

    Alternatively I'm pretty sure a double venus necklace would do the trick!
     
  20. poltergirl

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    i have a nyan cat game on my phone ((YES I KNOW, NYAN CAT. BE QUIET IT'S FUN OK) and it allows you to change the rainbow that comes out from the cat. i kept mine the classic rainbow (gay flag) as a hint to people, but i might go further and make it a lesbian flag instead.
    try to do something related to your pride flag, is what i have to say. if you have anything rainbow, or striped in particular that is changeable, change it to your flag. embracing it is fun & clever especially when you eat, breathe, & sleep in the closet LIKE ME!!