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People on the Internet think I am girl, even with gender-neutral photo.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Vega222, Jul 14, 2020.

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  1. Vega222

    Vega222
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    That has happened too much. Even, When I am not using a girl photo, people think I am girl.
    We have an English learning group in a messenger. I am one of admins. Today, Someone talked to me about something that happened in the group. We chatted for quite some time. He had seemed a really decent man from what I saw before.
    So, I told him that you are a decent man and stuff. And he also thanked and said I am very happy you listened to my chat and stuff.
    It was nothing out of ordinary, Just a random member. I thought I'd thank him and say bye. But he kept thanking and told you made me happy and stuff.
    After all, He asked my name and when I said my name, he let me know he thought I am girl! So, he apologised.

    I felt empty and a bit awkward. I wouldn't care that he liked me. It's just that I think that was all just because he thought I am girl.

    After that, I said I think you felt disappointed? He insisted he didn't. And even kept asking to become admin. If he was lying, He did indeed a real good job in pretending.

    So, That happens to me sometimes. I really sick and tired of this. I didn't really used a girl photo. What's my fault to be in this. What's my fault. :cry:
     
    #1 Vega222, Jul 14, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2020
  2. Vast

    Vast
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    It seems to be bothering you considerably. You might want to just ask what made them think you were a girl. Aside from that, maybe others see your username or picture as more feminine than you do? Maybe a difference in culture and/or language? What is seen as typical friendly and polite interactions in some cultures can be seen as very familiar or flirty in others.
     
    #2 Vast, Jul 14, 2020
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  3. Vega222

    Vega222
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    Yeah my user name may also have a small part cuz it was gender-neutral too.
    Good idea. I will ask the why.


    ---------------

    You mentioned "flirty". That's another problem. I guess something in me is the problem. I don't have much chat these days, cuz I am busy. But in the past, many times, other people or friends used to start talking about sex with me or even directly proposing for that. It made me think bad about all men, Because I can't help not to think they want sex. Even if they seem they're a gentleman and don't think about sex, they'd eventually brought up this subject. I mean, That's my fear and my feeling about men. Either strangers, friends or those who I date. I don't try dates anymore. Even the most unlikely persons surprise me and give me that shock. I fear even if I start talking/chatting with pope or a saint, They will eventually brought it up.

    So, This is very shocking and unpleasant when someone unexpectedly brought up such a thing.
    It's as if other men think I am flirty or something. That's what I think. I have no clue tho. But they should think I like it and that's why they brought it up.
     
    #3 Vega222, Jul 15, 2020
  4. Mihael

    Mihael
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    Yeah, gay guys are often flirty. Women are flirty too. I'm not sure how to fix that, though. It's frequently in the body language if not in what you say or how you dress.
     
    #4 Mihael, Jul 15, 2020
  5. Vega222

    Vega222
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    What do you mean exactly by ""flirty"?
     
    #5 Vega222, Jul 15, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2020
  6. Mihael

    Mihael
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    Seductive. Flamboyant... Maybe it's not exactly the same. Body language encouraging to come toward the person. Flipping eyelashes, bending, tone of voice. Etc.
     
    #6 Mihael, Jul 15, 2020
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